back at uni
And so life progresses as it always does.
for some reason live journal is giving me this weird comfort that it hasn't done in a while.
One of my friends at uni is going through a lot of shit and it all smells a bit familiar to me. I hate that i've become so passive to other peoples woes already. but there you go such is life. and she keeps telling me i'm angry at her. which i'm not i'm just not fawning over her problems like everyone else who knows. she's just as awesome as she always was i don't feel the need to suddenly pity her.
I'm ill. one of my housemates caught a cold and a lung infection from her ward and is successfully giving it to the whole house. so that's fun. still it means i have a good excuse to miss the massive pubcrawl tonight, which although fun in absurdly expensive.
I went out in town with becca the other night. it was so much fun. i forgot what an amazing freak that girl was. it was kinda upsetting through: like 20 people said they'd come and there were 3 of us, and she'd come all the way from bristol!!!! still it was a good night, so nice to be away from uni people.
that sounds really bad. i do love uni people. but they're either too observent or not enough. they notice when you're a bit down and give you worried looks all day which is really annoying but they don't notice when you just want to be left alone. I feel like i'm the only person who just deals with their problems and moves on. that's harsh and untrue but it's still what it feels like. everyone else seems to sit stagnant and worry about their problems. My new philosophy is if it can't be fixed ignore it and eventually the problem or that feeling will disappear. maybe it's not new. it's very similar to the old philosophy of by pretending enough you forget you're pretending and you just are what you're pretending to be.
Work is a bit tragic. It's all interesting and i'm actually going to lectures but we have no internet which makes the amount of effort involved in doing your own private study increase ten fold. I'm just promising myself that as soon as their is internet i'll catch up with it all and work hard.
I'm generally in a happier place now but just feel completely drained of everything. It's like i don't have the will in me to be sad or annoyed or angry any more. it's just easier to be completely neutral. like my bodies given up trying. It's quite nice. i hope it lasts.
xxxxxxxxxx
for some reason live journal is giving me this weird comfort that it hasn't done in a while.
One of my friends at uni is going through a lot of shit and it all smells a bit familiar to me. I hate that i've become so passive to other peoples woes already. but there you go such is life. and she keeps telling me i'm angry at her. which i'm not i'm just not fawning over her problems like everyone else who knows. she's just as awesome as she always was i don't feel the need to suddenly pity her.
I'm ill. one of my housemates caught a cold and a lung infection from her ward and is successfully giving it to the whole house. so that's fun. still it means i have a good excuse to miss the massive pubcrawl tonight, which although fun in absurdly expensive.
I went out in town with becca the other night. it was so much fun. i forgot what an amazing freak that girl was. it was kinda upsetting through: like 20 people said they'd come and there were 3 of us, and she'd come all the way from bristol!!!! still it was a good night, so nice to be away from uni people.
that sounds really bad. i do love uni people. but they're either too observent or not enough. they notice when you're a bit down and give you worried looks all day which is really annoying but they don't notice when you just want to be left alone. I feel like i'm the only person who just deals with their problems and moves on. that's harsh and untrue but it's still what it feels like. everyone else seems to sit stagnant and worry about their problems. My new philosophy is if it can't be fixed ignore it and eventually the problem or that feeling will disappear. maybe it's not new. it's very similar to the old philosophy of by pretending enough you forget you're pretending and you just are what you're pretending to be.
Work is a bit tragic. It's all interesting and i'm actually going to lectures but we have no internet which makes the amount of effort involved in doing your own private study increase ten fold. I'm just promising myself that as soon as their is internet i'll catch up with it all and work hard.
I'm generally in a happier place now but just feel completely drained of everything. It's like i don't have the will in me to be sad or annoyed or angry any more. it's just easier to be completely neutral. like my bodies given up trying. It's quite nice. i hope it lasts.
xxxxxxxxxx