(no subject)
my marathon is on the 5th of october and though i am excited about that and the fact that gigi and i are doing absolutely amazing my thoughts are consumed with one thought, the fact that my doctor recently diagnosed me with a thyroid problem, not the speedy one, but hypothyroid, which is a common factor in obesity. i swear to god when i say i will a)die of exhaustion, b) die of starvation or puke myself stupid before being obese. i really hope his medicine works. i feel like all my dreams might go down the drain and half wish i had just lived with my stomach pains than discovered that about myself. i have worked too hard to be reduced to nothingness by something out of my control. i want to bawl my eyes out. i don't even care if that sounds vain. i start ballet again tomorrow and the last thing i want to wonder is whether or not i am swelling in my leotard while i am in the midst of split leaps. i don't care if it sounds dramatic. it is traumatic to me.