nobody gives a poop about me or my stupid rat
im REALLY of being scared whenever im alone. i make up reasons to be scared. things that normally wouldnt scare me now do... and now its a habit. ok, time for bed and im alone. time to be scared. i HATE being scared. there is nothing worse than that feeling. i'd rather be ridiculously hurt and jealous or mad. nothing can be done about something scary. usually i pray and it makes me feel better. like tonight i will pray and probably feel ok... i have been getting better since i remembered to pray but i still get scared. :(
im pretty stressed too. i havent been settle in almost 6 months. june, i went to orientation on my birthday and i was so excited because i was so lonely and i wanted friends, and then a week a later i found chris. then all summer i was either working or at his house then september came and i moved to college. i was miserable there so during the week i tried to figure out a way to get home for the weekend. then i got back here and i have no car and im trying to get my school all set so i can buy one and get settled again. i just need to know how much i owe lowell so i can buy a damn car. i also need a better job because i need to pay for my car. i really like being with chris a lot and i know that once i have a car i will still need to seem him almost daily but i want to be home more.im sick of always being on my toes. and poor. sigh.
anyway, i watched The Neverending Story with maglin, byron and christoph. we had fun. we like hanging out together and its very convient, as megan and i are sisters and reside in the same household. friday we will get our weekly share of the Kirsch's and i really love that. i really like hanging out with jon and those guys... its fun. i miss danielleyo though. i kinda blew her off last week and i feel bad. but its so hard to see anyone when i have no car or money.
i need a new job because im broke.
good pay
20 hours
not mall.
im pretty stressed too. i havent been settle in almost 6 months. june, i went to orientation on my birthday and i was so excited because i was so lonely and i wanted friends, and then a week a later i found chris. then all summer i was either working or at his house then september came and i moved to college. i was miserable there so during the week i tried to figure out a way to get home for the weekend. then i got back here and i have no car and im trying to get my school all set so i can buy one and get settled again. i just need to know how much i owe lowell so i can buy a damn car. i also need a better job because i need to pay for my car. i really like being with chris a lot and i know that once i have a car i will still need to seem him almost daily but i want to be home more.im sick of always being on my toes. and poor. sigh.
anyway, i watched The Neverending Story with maglin, byron and christoph. we had fun. we like hanging out together and its very convient, as megan and i are sisters and reside in the same household. friday we will get our weekly share of the Kirsch's and i really love that. i really like hanging out with jon and those guys... its fun. i miss danielleyo though. i kinda blew her off last week and i feel bad. but its so hard to see anyone when i have no car or money.
i need a new job because im broke.
good pay
20 hours
not mall.