nostalgia
i almost cried in class today for no reason at all.
well, i had a reason. we were debating the difference between camus and sartre, and i was trying to explain that they were both existentialists, except that sartre is more méchant towards his protagonists (ex The Wall, No Exit), believing that man is not responsible for his condition because he has a conscious in a world that has none (indifference), while camus stresses the importance of man to recognize he has a conscious (The Stranger, The Rebel) and that he is responsible for his actions.
so after explaining this (and i totally side with sartre, btw, and i think life would be more tolerable in a Brave New World-esque world) and being congratulated by my prof, i was like, "WHAT?" why do i know this crap? why do i care? i am forgetting the most important scenes from my childhood and movies i loved when younger (the things that are making me what i am right now) and this background shit that impacts who i am in a very small way.
plus, i had trouble falling asleep last night, because i was thinking about the vast emptiness of the universe and the impossibility of god. (maybe a deist one) but why would you make this clock and leave it? what is the point? a mormon handed me a postcard today. am i getting signs but ignoring them? should i be going to church even though i will never have faith in something as ridiculous the concept of god?
/freakout
well, i had a reason. we were debating the difference between camus and sartre, and i was trying to explain that they were both existentialists, except that sartre is more méchant towards his protagonists (ex The Wall, No Exit), believing that man is not responsible for his condition because he has a conscious in a world that has none (indifference), while camus stresses the importance of man to recognize he has a conscious (The Stranger, The Rebel) and that he is responsible for his actions.
so after explaining this (and i totally side with sartre, btw, and i think life would be more tolerable in a Brave New World-esque world) and being congratulated by my prof, i was like, "WHAT?" why do i know this crap? why do i care? i am forgetting the most important scenes from my childhood and movies i loved when younger (the things that are making me what i am right now) and this background shit that impacts who i am in a very small way.
plus, i had trouble falling asleep last night, because i was thinking about the vast emptiness of the universe and the impossibility of god. (maybe a deist one) but why would you make this clock and leave it? what is the point? a mormon handed me a postcard today. am i getting signs but ignoring them? should i be going to church even though i will never have faith in something as ridiculous the concept of god?
/freakout