fjdkalfjdkal
there's so much i want to say about my life, and i can't write an honest myspace blog or facebook note because whoever i write about in it will get all hissy.
yes, ok, sometimes i want a boyfriend. tonight when i was talking to michael on the phone, i was reminded of my physical attraction for him. Lord, am i even strong enough spiritually to talk to him? even if i tell myself it's for the sake of witnessing to him and being his friend, a part of me knows it's because i like the attention he gives me and sometimes the things he says i briefly consider. my spontaneous spirit can sometimes get me into a lot of trouble - especially when i talk to him. i have no will power of my own. Lord, i just want to experience your gift of love and thrilling intimacy, but in the right setting, in your timing. but i'm just so impatient!
and this weekend, i hope i can be the witness for you that marycatherine needs to hear. i hope she has an open heart - i also hope i don't do anything ridiculously stupid. why can't i get it through my head that i'm not perfect? i can't be perfect! but i am forgiven....so why do i try to hide my sin and the things i struggle with like i'm above all that? because i'm not and i know it!
augh!
yes, ok, sometimes i want a boyfriend. tonight when i was talking to michael on the phone, i was reminded of my physical attraction for him. Lord, am i even strong enough spiritually to talk to him? even if i tell myself it's for the sake of witnessing to him and being his friend, a part of me knows it's because i like the attention he gives me and sometimes the things he says i briefly consider. my spontaneous spirit can sometimes get me into a lot of trouble - especially when i talk to him. i have no will power of my own. Lord, i just want to experience your gift of love and thrilling intimacy, but in the right setting, in your timing. but i'm just so impatient!
and this weekend, i hope i can be the witness for you that marycatherine needs to hear. i hope she has an open heart - i also hope i don't do anything ridiculously stupid. why can't i get it through my head that i'm not perfect? i can't be perfect! but i am forgiven....so why do i try to hide my sin and the things i struggle with like i'm above all that? because i'm not and i know it!
augh!