so i haven't written in awhile.....
Well, this the first time I've written on this thing in almost a year!!!!!!!
Can you believe it?!
And nobody ever really reads this anymore, so I think I'm safe.
I went to see the guidance counselor at school today for the first time. It was crazy. I'm pretty sure I have a lot to think about and a lot of self-esteem to gain.
And this month everyone's going home and I'll be here pretty much alone....but I'm excited. I've realized I depend too much on what other people think of me. I know I say I don't and I know that's a bad thing, but I let my self-image be formed by what other people think, say, do, and how they act around me.
and I don't want to be like that. Being in high school and having the friends I did formed my mind to wanting a boyfriend....wanting to be kissed.....and altogether wanting to be "normal"...or at least what the world's standards of normal are. But all the comments I make about thinking a guy's hott o wanting to date him or kiss him - that's all they are....comments. I don't think any of them are really serious. They're just to get a laugh out of people.
It's been a long time (if ever) that I've truly cared about a guy. I think that's mostly a result of my mom's general attitude toward men as I was growing up. She would randomly make comments about how they weren't to be trusted, and she wouldn't care if she never married again, because she didn't need a man.
I don't even know what they're for. I mean, seriously. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever had a healthy relationship with a guy. I wouldn't even know how it would look....or feel.
Can you believe it?!
And nobody ever really reads this anymore, so I think I'm safe.
I went to see the guidance counselor at school today for the first time. It was crazy. I'm pretty sure I have a lot to think about and a lot of self-esteem to gain.
And this month everyone's going home and I'll be here pretty much alone....but I'm excited. I've realized I depend too much on what other people think of me. I know I say I don't and I know that's a bad thing, but I let my self-image be formed by what other people think, say, do, and how they act around me.
and I don't want to be like that. Being in high school and having the friends I did formed my mind to wanting a boyfriend....wanting to be kissed.....and altogether wanting to be "normal"...or at least what the world's standards of normal are. But all the comments I make about thinking a guy's hott o wanting to date him or kiss him - that's all they are....comments. I don't think any of them are really serious. They're just to get a laugh out of people.
It's been a long time (if ever) that I've truly cared about a guy. I think that's mostly a result of my mom's general attitude toward men as I was growing up. She would randomly make comments about how they weren't to be trusted, and she wouldn't care if she never married again, because she didn't need a man.
I don't even know what they're for. I mean, seriously. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever had a healthy relationship with a guy. I wouldn't even know how it would look....or feel.