(no subject)
Its been kinda a really bad week this week.
First off my meds still arnt working, There still just making the problem worse, its getting really bad. Im hardly sleeping at night, and even when i do sleep i wake up even more tired than i already was
My dreams are getting even worse, do you know how depressing it is to keep seeing all the people you care about dieing, Its getting to much to handle at the moment, but i suppose i just have to do what i always do and find a way to get through it.
I have a major english sac tomorrow and the teacher has hardly prepared us for it at all.
My grandmas in hospital neally dead, i think im going to go down there at the end of the week, but the way things are going she might not even make it til then. Shes living on one lung at the moment, she down to weighing 45kg, and i always knew her as a rather large woman. The doctors also think her body is full of cancer, yet there not going to do the opperation to find out, because even if they do confirm it, theres nothing they can do about it anyway. I havnt spoken to her in about a year, and i feel really bad about that, family problems seem to make no sence in these kind of situations. My mum called me before she was in tears, and i didnt know what to do, Its also my brother that died's birthday tomorrow which is always a really hard day for me, and for mum, so shes really not coping at the moment and theres nothing i can do for her. I just hope that she doesnt die tomorrow otherwise the day is going to be twice as hard to deal with every year, and i know that probibly sounds really selfish, but to tell you the truth i dont care if it is or not.
I could really use a hug right about now, but to tell you the truth i think its the last thing i need aswell, ive built up alot of defences at the moment to keep myself from being hurt, and a hug could be the thing that would bring them all crashing down.
Ok im going to stop writing now.
Talk to you later
Chris
First off my meds still arnt working, There still just making the problem worse, its getting really bad. Im hardly sleeping at night, and even when i do sleep i wake up even more tired than i already was
My dreams are getting even worse, do you know how depressing it is to keep seeing all the people you care about dieing, Its getting to much to handle at the moment, but i suppose i just have to do what i always do and find a way to get through it.
I have a major english sac tomorrow and the teacher has hardly prepared us for it at all.
My grandmas in hospital neally dead, i think im going to go down there at the end of the week, but the way things are going she might not even make it til then. Shes living on one lung at the moment, she down to weighing 45kg, and i always knew her as a rather large woman. The doctors also think her body is full of cancer, yet there not going to do the opperation to find out, because even if they do confirm it, theres nothing they can do about it anyway. I havnt spoken to her in about a year, and i feel really bad about that, family problems seem to make no sence in these kind of situations. My mum called me before she was in tears, and i didnt know what to do, Its also my brother that died's birthday tomorrow which is always a really hard day for me, and for mum, so shes really not coping at the moment and theres nothing i can do for her. I just hope that she doesnt die tomorrow otherwise the day is going to be twice as hard to deal with every year, and i know that probibly sounds really selfish, but to tell you the truth i dont care if it is or not.
I could really use a hug right about now, but to tell you the truth i think its the last thing i need aswell, ive built up alot of defences at the moment to keep myself from being hurt, and a hug could be the thing that would bring them all crashing down.
Ok im going to stop writing now.
Talk to you later
Chris