(no subject)
So all my army mates have gone to bed, my girlfriends are up reading mckenzie law books and what not and I don't really want to be a source of distraction. My headache won't let up, and for some logic defying reason staying awake has made my temperature drop a little... thought I'd muse a little online.
Packing my room and suitcase is lending some sense of finality to my leaving. Seeing my life as I know it compressed into 3 twenty-three kg bags is slightly depressing. I'm avoiding looking thru my ex-box (haha, yes I have an ex bf box of mementos), old presents and plastic bags full of letters from my friends cuz I suspect it'll lend to some seriously sentimental, emo moments I hope to delay as long as possible. But then again, I've been numb for so many months, it might affect me less than I anticipate.
Maybe getting upset every other night in the not so distant past was just a phase, as daddy calls it, but I haven't hit a trough in a long time. Its quite refreshing but scary really- everything nowadays is just water off a duck's back. Not that I don't get sad, I do. While watching 881 with jules the other day I must've cried what, 5,6 times as the idea of leaving everyone behind conveniently struck me. I'm reminded too about the changes I'll undergo post my leaving Singapore as I see my closer friends slowly drift off because NUS is so incredibly time consuming. That makes me morose. And I still miss him time to time. But point being I'd get over the feeling in a matter of minutes. Maybe my emotional quotient has been magically rewired after all that's happened, or it could be an unconscious effort on my part to learn to be more emotionally independant in preparation for london. Whatever it is, I suppose its a shift in perspective for the best, and I should embrace it. Still... sometimes I miss the old me. :\ I've always has issues with change, ohwell.
Even as I prepare to leave, Mom suggests I also start setting meself some goals to tide me thru the university years. She's probably right- in all likelihood (ala JC fashion) I'll study much less than recommended. I need to know myself better: Saying I want a second upper or more is peanuts. But I know that means consistent work, discipline and focus cuz I'm terribly lousy with cramming. I guess I should start motivating myself, raring up for hard work and intellectual challenge, albeit not at the expense of the overseas international experience. Speaking of which, I've not even thought about how I'm going to make myself a more holistic individual, or what cca to join. :\ Hokie, mental note to self: start gearing back into school mode.
On a lighter note, I've actually been having a good time with family and friends. I suppose I'm starting to appreciate what I'm going to 'lose' as london loometh. A picture paints a thousand words (Michael learn to rock!) but photobucket is craplousy so links for those who haven't already been sucked into the vortex of facebook!(: Sans photos from my sleepover with jules, cuz she's not sent them to me yet. :(
Bangkok
Discovering Haji Lane
SN voice girls reunion
Ballet Under the Stars 07
Packing my room and suitcase is lending some sense of finality to my leaving. Seeing my life as I know it compressed into 3 twenty-three kg bags is slightly depressing. I'm avoiding looking thru my ex-box (haha, yes I have an ex bf box of mementos), old presents and plastic bags full of letters from my friends cuz I suspect it'll lend to some seriously sentimental, emo moments I hope to delay as long as possible. But then again, I've been numb for so many months, it might affect me less than I anticipate.
Maybe getting upset every other night in the not so distant past was just a phase, as daddy calls it, but I haven't hit a trough in a long time. Its quite refreshing but scary really- everything nowadays is just water off a duck's back. Not that I don't get sad, I do. While watching 881 with jules the other day I must've cried what, 5,6 times as the idea of leaving everyone behind conveniently struck me. I'm reminded too about the changes I'll undergo post my leaving Singapore as I see my closer friends slowly drift off because NUS is so incredibly time consuming. That makes me morose. And I still miss him time to time. But point being I'd get over the feeling in a matter of minutes. Maybe my emotional quotient has been magically rewired after all that's happened, or it could be an unconscious effort on my part to learn to be more emotionally independant in preparation for london. Whatever it is, I suppose its a shift in perspective for the best, and I should embrace it. Still... sometimes I miss the old me. :\ I've always has issues with change, ohwell.
Even as I prepare to leave, Mom suggests I also start setting meself some goals to tide me thru the university years. She's probably right- in all likelihood (ala JC fashion) I'll study much less than recommended. I need to know myself better: Saying I want a second upper or more is peanuts. But I know that means consistent work, discipline and focus cuz I'm terribly lousy with cramming. I guess I should start motivating myself, raring up for hard work and intellectual challenge, albeit not at the expense of the overseas international experience. Speaking of which, I've not even thought about how I'm going to make myself a more holistic individual, or what cca to join. :\ Hokie, mental note to self: start gearing back into school mode.
On a lighter note, I've actually been having a good time with family and friends. I suppose I'm starting to appreciate what I'm going to 'lose' as london loometh. A picture paints a thousand words (Michael learn to rock!) but photobucket is craplousy so links for those who haven't already been sucked into the vortex of facebook!(: Sans photos from my sleepover with jules, cuz she's not sent them to me yet. :(
Bangkok
Discovering Haji Lane
SN voice girls reunion
Ballet Under the Stars 07