rotting and throwing away
Melly called today and told me that dad got laid off.
I can't afford to pay for the rest of school.
She came up with a plan to help out...but she's trying to raise a family of her own and owes my parents money besides. and i also have mom down in texas not working and always needed money to pay for the bills since she's trying to raise my two sisters down there still.
I am so fucking tired of trying and trying and trying and it not being quite enough. i have worked my ass off since i started here and I have nothing left and i'm not even done yet. i've been working so many jobs and letting my grades suffer just so i can fucking AFFORD to keep coming to school and i am still not going to make it.
i am just fucking tired right now of everything.
i'm tired of trying to learn piano and getting nowhere
i'm tired of trying to get people to like me and them just hating me
i'm tired of trying to get somewhere in life and being resented for it
i'm so fucking sick of all of this
AND I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO DRIVE OFF DOWN THE ROAD! (which is what i've always threatened to do when things got too crazy) i can't pay for the gas!
i'm more than slightly hysterical, laughing and crying alternatively right now, probably not a good thing...
i'm going to be by myself somewhere for a while..
I can't afford to pay for the rest of school.
She came up with a plan to help out...but she's trying to raise a family of her own and owes my parents money besides. and i also have mom down in texas not working and always needed money to pay for the bills since she's trying to raise my two sisters down there still.
I am so fucking tired of trying and trying and trying and it not being quite enough. i have worked my ass off since i started here and I have nothing left and i'm not even done yet. i've been working so many jobs and letting my grades suffer just so i can fucking AFFORD to keep coming to school and i am still not going to make it.
i am just fucking tired right now of everything.
i'm tired of trying to learn piano and getting nowhere
i'm tired of trying to get people to like me and them just hating me
i'm tired of trying to get somewhere in life and being resented for it
i'm so fucking sick of all of this
AND I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO DRIVE OFF DOWN THE ROAD! (which is what i've always threatened to do when things got too crazy) i can't pay for the gas!
i'm more than slightly hysterical, laughing and crying alternatively right now, probably not a good thing...
i'm going to be by myself somewhere for a while..