Tai-San: Third Floor Bridge: Meditation

[_tai_san_]

Tai-San moved quickly through the Cafe's and over to the stairs that would lead up to the third floor landing, where her room had always been. What Dax had told her had chilled her to the bone, she felt as if she couldn't escape any part of her past. You can not escape the past, only file it away and remember the lessons of each day that passes she

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[_tai_san_]

Sitting with her back straight made it ache, at first, but after just a little while it actually felt good. Her hands were held in front of her, right hand hovering over the top, the tips of her forefingers touching the tips of her thumbs, a centering technique. In the past she would have hummed, to help her center, but now she found silence to be the best centering option. She could hear nearly everything in the Mall, but most of all she could feel them and their emotions, energies. It was as if she was floating around the Mall, checking on everyone, aligning her chakras and figuring out what, and who, needed balancing.

She honed in on an energy that felt so incredibly familiar, though she couldn't put her finger on it at first. It confused her, and then she realized what it was, sending a wave of excitement through her and knocking her out of her meditation, her left hand flying to her mouth. Her eyes watered with tears instantly, and she looked around, grateful that no one was around her. Bending forward she grabbed the candle and blew it out, standing up and moving back into her room. This would not do, the energies of earlier were still lingering here, the same kind she'd just touched on. She didn't know why it made her cry to feel the two familiar energies mixing together, why her heart was wrenching. She wasn't jealous, she wasn't, she understood that they both had needs, that they were both together, expecting a child, so it didn't make her jealous. It..it didn't!

Then what? Tai-San pressed her lips together firmly, chewing on them both at the same time, forcing herself to stop dwelling on it. She had to center herself..she just had to! Reaching up to swipe at the tears that escaped, Tai-San sat down at the makeshift vanity created from the old sales counter.

"You mustn't let the wounds of the past affect the heart of tomorrow," she told her reflection, staring at herself until she felt her resolve coming back. When she spoke again, the waiver of emotion was gone, and it didn't crack. Mega had tried to teach her how to be cold hearted, and though she put on a tough outter shell, she was still Tai-San deep down inside. "They are going to have a relationship, Tai-San, this is a fact you must grow to accept. It's not that Lex moved on from you, it's not even that he doesn't love you the way he loved you once before, it's simply that his heart has grown to encompass his new love. Who you also have feelings for, remember?" Her eyes darted to the bed then back to her reflection. She took a deep breath and nodded. Yes, she remembered. She remembered making love to Siva, and making love in the past to Lex, both beautiful in their own ways.

Picking up her eyeliner, Tai-San fixed her makeup where her tears had messed it up, closing her eyes for a few moments to get the redness to go away, reworking on recentering herself right here at the vanity.