Thought stirring question of the week: Support by proxy

[sistahraven]

Most survivors need a lot of extra support. Between our flashbacks, invasive thoughts, and all the struggles we go through, we often need a lot of support and extra love to help us get through. Many of us also struggle with getting the support we need. Often, our supporters fall victim to the daily grind of life and work and schedules, or our

Comments

[mauvedragon]

I haven't tried this consciously but I think I have done it subconsciously.

My lover gave me an original Hitch Hiker Guide To The Galaxy T-shirt which says "Don't Panic". Since one of my problems is anxiety......

I also have a toy I call "The Librarian" (after the Discworld books), and a small shrek doll. These sleep with me and go into pockets when I'm most stressed, as they're relatively small.

[sistahraven]

I can appreciate the "don't panic" shirt - sometimes when I'm really anxious, I go and grab a towel. It usually makes me laugh a little thinking about the story, while still having something soft to hold :)

[desertrosedark]

I also use LJ as a sort of proxy, and the big blue cloak that I spoke of last week works too.

I used to use stuffed toys, but most of mine are boxed up. I do have one toy cat who used to smell like the very dear friend who gave the toy to me, and I used to snuggle it when I missed my friend.

Maybe once we get moved, I'll be able to get some of my stuffies out again.

[sistahraven]

Coincidentally, it was that big blue cloak that inspired this week's question :) So thank you for the inspiration!

[desertrosedark]

You're welcome. :)

[uneasy_nights]

I suppose i have a lot. I've never really thought about it.
I listen to music a lot. I have a record player in my room and a bunch of my mom's old records and some of my own and i listen to them a lot. As soon as the needle touches the vynyl, i feel calmer.
Another is lifejournal. I post in my livejournal A LOT. Everyday, and when i can't, i type it out, or write it out.
The last and most important is books. I love to read in general, and i read quickly. So if i'm freaking out and need some me time, i have a bunch of books that i can read in an hour or less. And they're the really worn falling apart books i've read over and over and could probably recite by heart if i wanted. And they have happy endings, and make me think things CAN work out in the end.
Then i snap back to reality.

[sistahraven]

Wow, I hadn't even thought of books! What a great way to enjoy something soothing and familiar :)

[letter2me]

My main proxy is a bear my Partner made for me on cafepress.com We call him Safe T. Bear, and he has a shirt that says "It IS okay to talk to me" in purple letters. The idea is that if Keith (my Partner) isn't around, or I don't feel safe talking to him for whatever reason, I can talk to Safe T. Bear and know that I won't get laughed at or yelled at or verbally abused, and that I never have to worry about Safe T. Bear sharing my secrets with others, even accidentally. When I was a child, it wasn't safe to share my feelings with anyone because one way or another, they were always used against me. As an adult, I know that there are two places I can go and know that my thoughts and feelings aond words will never be used against me: My Partner, Keith, and Safe T. Bear

[sistahraven]

That's excellent! Especially having a stuffy as a proxy because you *know* they will still have hugs for you after you vent emotions or flashbacks. They're such great little fuzzy vehicles for love and trust. And, they're great listeners (I talk to one of my bears when I'm feeling like I need to talk but am afraid to open up)

[sistahraven]

I'm glad the idea works well with you, it can be a big help to have comfort objects, whether they're a proxy for one of your supporters or something you give yourself to give yourself some extra support