I hadn't thought of the six months as a victory - just yesterday as a failure. Thank you for reminding me that it's not all bad.
I'm trying to resolve it as best I can. Divorce is inevitable, and hell he may even leave me first. He's such a narcissist! He thinks me going to the therapist is "just looking for attention". What? I don't get it.
But I'm a year away from graduation so I'm waiting and really just studying my butt off like I said - I'm a lit major, so the work helps me escape the real world and keeps me from having to deal with much around the house.
After that I'm looking into teaching. I doubt I'll stay here since I moved here to marry him - but I doubt I'll go back to my hometown. Actually I've been looking into teaching jobs in the UK because there's a shortage of teachers in all departments and what with my PTSD and bipolar disorder I really need to be somewhere I can get good healthcare for free or cheap. I just saw a bankruptcy lawyer today because I owe so much in medical/hospital bills there's no way I could ever catch up.
It's easy to overlook all those days without SI as victories - we think "oh, well those were normal days, and SI days are horrible and show I'm weak!" when in reality, all those "normal" days were when we showed our strength and coping skills.
I'm boggled by his ideas on therapy - my guess is that he puts it down because he thinks your therapist will tell you the things you already know: that he's emotionally abusive and a narcissist!
Teaching in the UK could be a lot of fun - and having the option of good healthcare for cheap is always a good thing!
I've suspected that his problem with therapy is that he's afraid he'll get called out, too! Actually I started reading up on narcissism and went, "oh wait...O_o" and asked her and she didn't say "yes" but walked me through his behavior and my reactions and I'd already figured it out for myself, she just reaffirmed my feelings.
I'm afraid the UK is a pipe dream, but I've got a friend there who is doing research for me to see what she can come up with - what papers I need, credentials, etc. So far it looks like I'll just need to get a license to teach once I have my B.A. :)
She's hell-bent on finding some nice British boy for me to marry once I get there, lol.
I'm trying to resolve it as best I can. Divorce is inevitable, and hell he may even leave me first. He's such a narcissist! He thinks me going to the therapist is "just looking for attention". What? I don't get it.
But I'm a year away from graduation so I'm waiting and really just studying my butt off like I said - I'm a lit major, so the work helps me escape the real world and keeps me from having to deal with much around the house.
After that I'm looking into teaching. I doubt I'll stay here since I moved here to marry him - but I doubt I'll go back to my hometown. Actually I've been looking into teaching jobs in the UK because there's a shortage of teachers in all departments and what with my PTSD and bipolar disorder I really need to be somewhere I can get good healthcare for free or cheap. I just saw a bankruptcy lawyer today because I owe so much in medical/hospital bills there's no way I could ever catch up.
Sorry, ramble.
Thanks again. :)
Reply
I'm boggled by his ideas on therapy - my guess is that he puts it down because he thinks your therapist will tell you the things you already know: that he's emotionally abusive and a narcissist!
Teaching in the UK could be a lot of fun - and having the option of good healthcare for cheap is always a good thing!
Reply
I'm afraid the UK is a pipe dream, but I've got a friend there who is doing research for me to see what she can come up with - what papers I need, credentials, etc. So far it looks like I'll just need to get a license to teach once I have my B.A. :)
She's hell-bent on finding some nice British boy for me to marry once I get there, lol.
Reply
Leave a comment