Overwhelmed by memories

Oct 30, 2008 11:41


I keep remembering how I felt when my father would hurt me. He would pin me down and hurt me. I feel pain in my vagina and a lot of anxiety.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to cut myself, because I can't cry. I just get this way sometimes, where I really need to cry and just physically can't do it. Cutting would make me feel like I was getting some of the pain out, like crying in blood.

I can't cut though. My fiance confiscated my razor blades, and I can't get a kitchen knife and do it without somebody catching me.

I wish all this would go away. I feel alone.

I'd love a hug. It might make me feel less alone.

I'm on Yahoo! Messenger as arquenniel and on AIM as desertrosedark.

self-injury, seeking support, memories

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