Sad.
This is an entry from my personal journal. Sometimes it seems like you can't get away from it.
One of the girls in my abuse support group committed suicide this past week. It was too much for her, and it's so sad. She could've worked through it, she could've found the strength. She's could've not let her abuser win. The support wasn't there for her ( Read more... )
One of the girls in my abuse support group committed suicide this past week. It was too much for her, and it's so sad. She could've worked through it, she could've found the strength. She's could've not let her abuser win. The support wasn't there for her ( Read more... )
While you may not have meant she was a weak person, that is in fact what you wrote with that comment.
"...she could've found the strength" Also feeds into the idea that she was somehow "weak".
Both comments, when taken in conjunction with your whole statement of: "She could've worked through it, she could've found the strength. She's could've not let her abuser win...or maybe she was too weak." reinforce the negative idea that someone who commits suicide is somehow weak and not trying hard enough.
I am guessing she was depressed, and when one is depressed it is hard to get out of the mindset that says nothing is worth it. Depression, true depression and not just a day or two of the blues, is a biochemical imbalance in the brain, which trauma can precipitate. Your comment that "She could've worked through it, she could've found the strength" implies she simply wasn't trying hard enough. You can not always think your way through a serious depression, and it is very difficult to find the energy for anything, let alone the enormous task of healing, when one is depressed. So it wasn't that she wasn't trying, it's that her body had been changed by the trauma to the point where she did not have the means to combat it and heal as effectively as someone who has not been through a serious trauma. Also, due to it's very nature, depression alone can cause one to feel suicidal, even without the shadow of trauma.
Yes it is a shame she is gone. While you are entitled to your opinion, I would ask that you refrain from phrasing it in such a way that essentially blames the victim. Yes, she is responsible for her actions. Yet ultimately, it is the abuse that killed her.
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That is what I was trying to communicate earlier. I appreciate your comment, for it was in a sense affirming for me.
Thanks
-stac
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Safe hugs.
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