I am the princess in/Living in a fantasy world
I should tell you how it's done. How I secure the things I want so readily, how I manage my world and everyone and everything within it. I should tell you what I do to myself and to others- convincing myself that I have feelings that I don't, convincing myselfto stay, convincing myself to flee. I am superb. I know what I'm doing and convince myself that I don't. It's fantastic, really, the strings too easy to manipulate, the players who line themselves up for destruction. I give them what they want, generally, and pretend to care. I tell myself I'm playing fair, but is that even possible? No matter. Lessons to learn...
So many relationships, so few regrets, rarely a pang of guilt- even when I'm grinding fragile hearts into dust beneath my adorable little heels. Those I've loved, I've loved well. I've seen it through and still haven't really let go...Maybe that's the problem now. I'm still hanging to those precious few who truly got to me, and there's no room for anyone else, or I haven't met anyone to compete with them...
I let this entry sit for about four days so I've long since lost the train...
Rereading, I laugh, I'm quite heartless...ai well, I don't feel bad, I'm shameless, even when cruel.
Visiting with my neighbors- they were discussing how human's aren't deliberately "out to get" one another in the natural state. It isn't in our nature to be offensive? I'm not sure I believe that...I don't really mind causing pain. It's often quite amusing, really, to watch people squirm. Not all people, mind you, not innocents or liked ones. Weak people, willfully ignorant people, people who overstep their bounds. Those who play themselves into my hands deserve to be ridiculed and belittled. Principles of Satanism, really...Who so enters your home with disrespect thou may destroy.
Silly people...I am indifferent to you.
Except those I love
So many relationships, so few regrets, rarely a pang of guilt- even when I'm grinding fragile hearts into dust beneath my adorable little heels. Those I've loved, I've loved well. I've seen it through and still haven't really let go...Maybe that's the problem now. I'm still hanging to those precious few who truly got to me, and there's no room for anyone else, or I haven't met anyone to compete with them...
I let this entry sit for about four days so I've long since lost the train...
Rereading, I laugh, I'm quite heartless...ai well, I don't feel bad, I'm shameless, even when cruel.
Visiting with my neighbors- they were discussing how human's aren't deliberately "out to get" one another in the natural state. It isn't in our nature to be offensive? I'm not sure I believe that...I don't really mind causing pain. It's often quite amusing, really, to watch people squirm. Not all people, mind you, not innocents or liked ones. Weak people, willfully ignorant people, people who overstep their bounds. Those who play themselves into my hands deserve to be ridiculed and belittled. Principles of Satanism, really...Who so enters your home with disrespect thou may destroy.
Silly people...I am indifferent to you.
Except those I love