Self asphyxiation
I guess I just write here when I'm miserable, or very excited and anticipating.
So I'm back. Guess which of the two. Yeah..
I think I need to see someone about my issues. Relationship-issues.
Not that I'm in trouble in a relationship, I'm hardly ever. I'm just too happy. Too content.
Or to be more presice, I'm depressed when I'm not in one.
I tend to get addicted to stuff. Especially people.
I'm needy, clingy, intense.
I revolve my life around "my better half."
I am dependant.
That needs to stop. Last time I thought I'd solve the problem by never loving again. Just.. be like Shane right.
Well, newsflash, we all know I'm not like that.
SO.
Well, I don't know. How to learn to love without losing myself.
I was so scared of giving it all I had, but eventually I did. And well, heart shattered, again.
People generally don't want to be in a relationship with me, and definitely not stay in it.
I can't blame them, I can't stand myself either. But, none of my ex-lovers seem to agree to the many faults I see in myself.
The last one told me there was nothing wrong with me at all, I was perfect.. The kindest, nicest, most loveable person she had ever been with.
Then WHY THE HELL? ARGH. I Have faults, plenty of them, admit it already! How can I ever learn how to hang on to a girlfriend, if everyone that dumps me tells me it's not my fault.
*Sigh*
I wish I could be like Shane.
So I'm back. Guess which of the two. Yeah..
I think I need to see someone about my issues. Relationship-issues.
Not that I'm in trouble in a relationship, I'm hardly ever. I'm just too happy. Too content.
Or to be more presice, I'm depressed when I'm not in one.
I tend to get addicted to stuff. Especially people.
I'm needy, clingy, intense.
I revolve my life around "my better half."
I am dependant.
That needs to stop. Last time I thought I'd solve the problem by never loving again. Just.. be like Shane right.
Well, newsflash, we all know I'm not like that.
SO.
Well, I don't know. How to learn to love without losing myself.
I was so scared of giving it all I had, but eventually I did. And well, heart shattered, again.
People generally don't want to be in a relationship with me, and definitely not stay in it.
I can't blame them, I can't stand myself either. But, none of my ex-lovers seem to agree to the many faults I see in myself.
The last one told me there was nothing wrong with me at all, I was perfect.. The kindest, nicest, most loveable person she had ever been with.
Then WHY THE HELL? ARGH. I Have faults, plenty of them, admit it already! How can I ever learn how to hang on to a girlfriend, if everyone that dumps me tells me it's not my fault.
*Sigh*
I wish I could be like Shane.