(no subject)
I've got so fucking much to do.! gah.. gotta make lists.
hm.
I've figured, I'm horny. Not the kind of aroused you get when fooling around with someone, or from especially hot movie scenes.
But more the kind of drunk horniness. Actually, not that even. The kind of horny you get when your body is starved. Constantly reminding you what it wants. Not in hot flushes of arousedness, but more in a lurking kind of horniness. Somewhat there all the time, eating at you. lol eating at, I wish. hah but seriously. My mind is way too often on the topic sex, and as soon as i let it wander, it slips away.
And thing is, as soon as it does, I think about her. I cant imagine sleeping with someone else. Partly cause she's the only one I've ever really had sex with, and partly cause I love and miss her so fucking much. And, I know she's almost forgotten me by now.
Sexual desires could be dealt with, if it wasnt for her. I simply don't enjoy it anymore. And here's the info no one needed. The past 5 months, I haven't come without crying. The abscence of her is just unbearable. Sex = pain. If I ever should think about releasing some pressure, my mind keeps thinking about the last time. Our last time together. The most tear filled and earth shattering orgasm ever. Then I slept in her arms, for the last time.
It scares me that I'd be willing to go through these 5 past months all over again, just to be with her that one night again.
hm.
I've figured, I'm horny. Not the kind of aroused you get when fooling around with someone, or from especially hot movie scenes.
But more the kind of drunk horniness. Actually, not that even. The kind of horny you get when your body is starved. Constantly reminding you what it wants. Not in hot flushes of arousedness, but more in a lurking kind of horniness. Somewhat there all the time, eating at you. lol eating at, I wish. hah but seriously. My mind is way too often on the topic sex, and as soon as i let it wander, it slips away.
And thing is, as soon as it does, I think about her. I cant imagine sleeping with someone else. Partly cause she's the only one I've ever really had sex with, and partly cause I love and miss her so fucking much. And, I know she's almost forgotten me by now.
Sexual desires could be dealt with, if it wasnt for her. I simply don't enjoy it anymore. And here's the info no one needed. The past 5 months, I haven't come without crying. The abscence of her is just unbearable. Sex = pain. If I ever should think about releasing some pressure, my mind keeps thinking about the last time. Our last time together. The most tear filled and earth shattering orgasm ever. Then I slept in her arms, for the last time.
It scares me that I'd be willing to go through these 5 past months all over again, just to be with her that one night again.