And Then I Couldn't Breathe...
Ok, today was mightily interesting. I learned many things between work and everything else, which I will now outline for you below.
LESSON 1: Ice is heavy. When scooping ice into a bucket, you'll begin to realize that the repetitive motion, along with the fact that the human wrist was not meant to support that much weight will absolutely cause you Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (n. A condition characterized by pain and numbing or tingling sensations in the hand and caused by compression of a nerve in the carpal tunnel at the wrist).
LESSON 2: Kegs are heavy. Yes, kegs are heavy. Especially when you're a small girl, and you have to move them and tap them by yourself in a freezer. This causes uncomfortable amounts of muscle strain, and sometimes can result in severe toe-pain (i.e.- "OH MY FUCKING GOD, I DROPPED THE FUCKING COORS KEG ON MY FUCKING FOOT! SONOFABITCH!!!!!")
LESSON 3: Just because the button on the soda gun SAYS "Tonic", doesn't mean it actually is Tonic. And not everyone is that nice when you accidentally hand them a drink and it turns out to be half Gin, half WATER.
LESSON 4: Regardless of how big my tips are (I said "tiPs", you pervert!), Charlie is just going to end up keeping them all to himself anyway, so it's pretty much useless to wear any shirts that show off my big tits (ok, that time you were right).
LESSON 5: Bartending = Manual Labor.
LESSON 6: Apparently dating one person "exclusively" means that you STILL only have sex when HE'S in the mood. Turns out that it's not much different than when you're dating "unexclusively".
LESSON 7: Jack Black = Jesus.
LESSON 8: Sometimes you can develop a food allergy without even knowing it. And the only way you find out is by eating said food, and nearly choking to death when your throat closes up and you have to be brought to the hospital at 3:30am.
LESSON 9: Did you know that when you go to the hospital, and your crying because your ribs are aching because you can't breathe and your throat is so sore that you can't swallow, they still make you fill out paperwork before they will treat you? I think there are certain shades of blue that you have to match in order for them to consider you an emergency and treat you before they know which insurance you have.
LESSON 10: You know those little nostril-plugs they stick up your nose for oxygen? When you take the little tubes out of your nose, and press the holes together and release, it makes a little farting noise.
Well, that's all for today. And as you can tell from Lesson 6, I now am dating someone "exclusively", which is really interesting. I never thought I'd ever actually be with anyone in a serious way again, but I think he really likes me... and even though he drives me crazy, I like him too. Oddly enough, I even miss him right now... I can't wait to talk to him... and hopefully see him tomorrow. This IS really weird.....
"I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall, and when we leave the landlord will come and paint over it all."
--Ani Difranco
LESSON 1: Ice is heavy. When scooping ice into a bucket, you'll begin to realize that the repetitive motion, along with the fact that the human wrist was not meant to support that much weight will absolutely cause you Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (n. A condition characterized by pain and numbing or tingling sensations in the hand and caused by compression of a nerve in the carpal tunnel at the wrist).
LESSON 2: Kegs are heavy. Yes, kegs are heavy. Especially when you're a small girl, and you have to move them and tap them by yourself in a freezer. This causes uncomfortable amounts of muscle strain, and sometimes can result in severe toe-pain (i.e.- "OH MY FUCKING GOD, I DROPPED THE FUCKING COORS KEG ON MY FUCKING FOOT! SONOFABITCH!!!!!")
LESSON 3: Just because the button on the soda gun SAYS "Tonic", doesn't mean it actually is Tonic. And not everyone is that nice when you accidentally hand them a drink and it turns out to be half Gin, half WATER.
LESSON 4: Regardless of how big my tips are (I said "tiPs", you pervert!), Charlie is just going to end up keeping them all to himself anyway, so it's pretty much useless to wear any shirts that show off my big tits (ok, that time you were right).
LESSON 5: Bartending = Manual Labor.
LESSON 6: Apparently dating one person "exclusively" means that you STILL only have sex when HE'S in the mood. Turns out that it's not much different than when you're dating "unexclusively".
LESSON 7: Jack Black = Jesus.
LESSON 8: Sometimes you can develop a food allergy without even knowing it. And the only way you find out is by eating said food, and nearly choking to death when your throat closes up and you have to be brought to the hospital at 3:30am.
LESSON 9: Did you know that when you go to the hospital, and your crying because your ribs are aching because you can't breathe and your throat is so sore that you can't swallow, they still make you fill out paperwork before they will treat you? I think there are certain shades of blue that you have to match in order for them to consider you an emergency and treat you before they know which insurance you have.
LESSON 10: You know those little nostril-plugs they stick up your nose for oxygen? When you take the little tubes out of your nose, and press the holes together and release, it makes a little farting noise.
Well, that's all for today. And as you can tell from Lesson 6, I now am dating someone "exclusively", which is really interesting. I never thought I'd ever actually be with anyone in a serious way again, but I think he really likes me... and even though he drives me crazy, I like him too. Oddly enough, I even miss him right now... I can't wait to talk to him... and hopefully see him tomorrow. This IS really weird.....
"I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall, and when we leave the landlord will come and paint over it all."
--Ani Difranco