(no subject)
i am so fucking sick of NEVER doing a damn thing right. or so everyone thinks. apparently i didnt even do pregnancy right. what the hell. im sorry i was sick pretty much the whole damn time. its hard to be all excited cute when you look like a fucking elephant... and feel like a fucking hippo. it wasnt even that i was just swollen. I WAS SICK. the doctors told us that Sophie pretty much stopped developing in me back in June. the whole time i was gaining weight, it was all water. sophie was 4 lbs... i gained more than 50. within 2 weeks after having her, i lost 40 lbs. I PEED AND SWEATED OUT 40 FUCKING LBS OF WATER IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS. it makes me mad when people say "you should have been more excited about being pregnant"... and "i wish you would have 'embraced' being pregnant". how the hell was i supposed to "embrace" that. dont get me wrong, i LOVE sophie more than anything... but i was miserable while i was pregnant. i want one of you fuckers to deal with what i went through and tell me it wasnt that bad. and until then shut your damn mouths, because NOBODY knows how i felt. no, i wasnt depressed or upset and thats what made me sick.. i was just sick. i was sick the whole time. yes, i understand i keep repeating the same thing.. but i cant handle being told i was fine, i just CHOSE to be miserable. believe me, i would have LOVED to show off my belly and "embrace" being pregnant. it just wasnt possible. sorry im such a fucking screw up that i couldnt even be pregnant the right way. unless you have something nice or positive to say just shut the fuck up and leave me alone.