i got ahold of a plastic knife 2day.
yep. i guess some of u know (like ne1 reads this) how i accidently slit my wrist with that plastic knife (it was an accident for real) so it's sort of a joke, but lacey and kyle were talkin about all the depressing stuff and lacey's been hinting that she cuts herself and kyle sez hes starting therapy, and i just think "could i have friends if i just brag about all the pain i feel? if i told people that i had a therapist that wanted to put me on medication would people want to talk to me then?" so i got mad and at lunch i grabbed a plastic knife and sort of slid it across my arm, i swear those things are sharper than the metal, but i got some of those raised cuts that dont bleed and by the time i got to 4th they were gone. jacquie was there when i did it and i dont think she thought i was being serious. maybe i wasn't. i think a lot about taking a knife to my neck but i don't want to die, i just want to bleed and let this all out. my blood is probably black from all the stuff backed up in it.