justice league et al
I'm satisfied with my life, only satisfied. I feel pretty close with three friends and everyone else is either really distant, really stupid, really boring, really annoying, or both. I'm okay with that, but I'm not okay with being single. My three best friends have other people and when all of us hang out I feel like that single middle-aged man who's always at your house and your parents make you call him uncle even though you know that he really isn't. Albeit right now being the worst time ever for me to get into a relationship, I feel emotionally steady enough to put time into caring for someone other than myself; [insert some comment about Stephanie that everyone would find funny except her]. It's hard to be okay with being single when people in special ed. can find love and you can't even get a girl to flirt with you and mean it.
I hate my SAT scores and I hate not know what I want to do with my life and I hate that people are saying there's no way I'm getting into Cornell and I hate feeling like my life is ending in 22 days. 22 is such an insignificant number, but there are a whole bunch of emotions going through my mind. This is my opportunity to prove myself to Cornell, to get a feel of the college life, and to actually do something with my summer. Then again, I went away for nine days last summer and when I came back I felt completely separated from everyone; 45 days is five times as long and I'm so scared it's going to fuck up some of my best friendships going into my senior year. I'd love it if my friends came to visit me, and they're saying they will, I just don't believe them. But I'm so excited to be in my first college lab and to go to the museum every Friday for my lecture and to be able to sit in the grass and listen to music and study. I'm so ready to leave Wayne but not the towns surrounding Wayne.
I've been thinking about the future way too much. It basically comes down to this battle between thinking ideally and thinking practically. As much as I'd love to study math or language or cultures in college, I know that it would make more sense to major in a major with a career in mind or prepare for med school. As of about 10:24 last night, I think I'm going to apply as a city and regional planning major. That's most likely changing by tomorrow. Speaking of which, apparently my dad finds anything below 800 in math unacceptable, so I have to really focus in the morning; if I can just pick up my math score 100 points, I think my over-all score will be okay, assuming I move up a couple more points in verbal: fuck assumptions.
Seriously, considering my lack of training in music - which includes zero hours - I'm pretty damn good at sight reading piano and vocally. Also, if you could figure out the following chord for me, it would make my life: {E G Bb C#}.
I might finally be in honors English next year, as well as Spanish 2. LMAO STEGGOSAURUS
.how.the.hell.did.we.get.here.
i want to understand the ticking
I hate my SAT scores and I hate not know what I want to do with my life and I hate that people are saying there's no way I'm getting into Cornell and I hate feeling like my life is ending in 22 days. 22 is such an insignificant number, but there are a whole bunch of emotions going through my mind. This is my opportunity to prove myself to Cornell, to get a feel of the college life, and to actually do something with my summer. Then again, I went away for nine days last summer and when I came back I felt completely separated from everyone; 45 days is five times as long and I'm so scared it's going to fuck up some of my best friendships going into my senior year. I'd love it if my friends came to visit me, and they're saying they will, I just don't believe them. But I'm so excited to be in my first college lab and to go to the museum every Friday for my lecture and to be able to sit in the grass and listen to music and study. I'm so ready to leave Wayne but not the towns surrounding Wayne.
I've been thinking about the future way too much. It basically comes down to this battle between thinking ideally and thinking practically. As much as I'd love to study math or language or cultures in college, I know that it would make more sense to major in a major with a career in mind or prepare for med school. As of about 10:24 last night, I think I'm going to apply as a city and regional planning major. That's most likely changing by tomorrow. Speaking of which, apparently my dad finds anything below 800 in math unacceptable, so I have to really focus in the morning; if I can just pick up my math score 100 points, I think my over-all score will be okay, assuming I move up a couple more points in verbal: fuck assumptions.
Seriously, considering my lack of training in music - which includes zero hours - I'm pretty damn good at sight reading piano and vocally. Also, if you could figure out the following chord for me, it would make my life: {E G Bb C#}.
I might finally be in honors English next year, as well as Spanish 2. LMAO STEGGOSAURUS
.how.the.hell.did.we.get.here.
i want to understand the ticking