(no subject)
Sometimes I feel like I'm in this alone. It's just me trudging through this relationship, battling the lonliness and battling the depression. When I'm with you, you give me all the little reassurances that I need. The soft kiss on my temple during the movie, the squeeze of my hand when we're walking, the little "I love yous" whispered under your breath when there are other people around. But when we are miles apart, it gets difficult to express the small declarations of love and commitment. I hate to think that I'm that girlfriend who needs the attention. Who needs the simple text messages that say something as effortless as "goodmorning baby." ...And who whishes it was your name everytime her cell phone rings. I know we talked about this once. How when people usually do something, they expect a reciprocation of those actions. I know I told you that I didn't need it. I know I said that I'd be just fine. But now that I'm here... Alone. Waking up and having to consciously make that effort to be happy. Or at least put on that "happy face" so other people will be silenced. Well, I guess the one thing that does make me happy would bring a smile to this face thats hasn't truly smiled since you were last near.
I don't want to be your obligation.
I don't want you to feel that I'm a nuisance or a hassle.
I don't want you to call me because you think "you have to"...
I just want you
a little bit closer to me...
knowing that you're there
going through the same thing
right by my side
and knowing
that we're in this together.
Knowing
that you miss me
as much as I miss you.
And knowing
that you're wishing
the days would fly by
until we could be together again...
just like me.
I can't explain how much I love you. Words just don't do it justice. But it's all I have right now, so I'm doing my best.
Baby, I love you.
You make me happy. I can't emphasize that enough.
<3