knowing where you're going, embracing where you've been...living in a moment you may never see again
-prom...that was one hell of an interesting night for me. real sober, real calm, realllll mellow. and with that, my tale begins:
*7:30---woke up to a call that was sam's mom thinking i had school and telling me she had gotten sam's address!!! so needless to say, i was frickin up and hoppin about like a horny kangaroo. i went to walgreens to develop pics but the digital machine doesn't get turned on till 9:30, so i crawled back into bed to wait till 9:30 when i could get moving on my package for sam and my prom plans.
*9:30---woke up, ate some breakfast, shot off to walgreens and got like 80 pictures developed, about 50 for sam. came home, laid out for a little while since it was gorgeous (yay my prayers were answered!) and then went to walgreens and picked up my pics. then i ran right over to the UPS store in the same plaza and overnighted sam a package with all my 20 letters from the past 2 weeks (holy shit he's got some reading on his hands), then woke up miss angela who was being a hobo.
*1:30---appt at the salon for my hurrrr. angela met me there. i'm so glad she did cuz the place was frickin snazzy and i was a lil intimidated, but thanks to desosa, i knew i would not leave until i was 100% happy with my hair, but i had angi as a support system, and i trust her judgment. i told the lady a general gist of what i wanted and let her got nuts. and it came out crazy funky cool (lol, reminds me of TLC). then i had my makeup done and that turned out not too shabby.
*4:30---my sister helped me into my big poofy dress and tied me up like a mother f'in sausage. and she helped me put those weird ass chicken breast self-adhesive bra thingies on me.
*5:30---alex got to my house. then we all followed my dad and his UNBELIEVABLY SLOW DRIVING (which is a painfully common bond our dads have) to the wyndham. took lots of pics, socialized, etc. alex's dad is the crazy paparazzi man, it was adorable. he was like popping out from behind trees and shit. i was seriously waiting for him to come riding by on one of those swans. everyone looked gorgeous. i'm so glad i have pretty friends to take the attention off me and how gross i am. and i'm so glad i have a boyfriend who's crazy enough to think i'm the most beautiful girl in the world.
*7:00---limo came and got us from the wyndham...our gorgeous super hot hummer limo. we piled in, had a glorious mountain dew toast to senior year and our awesome class, and headed out. pretty fun limo ride. offending our limo driver at random intervals, bonding with fellow hummer limos who we don't know at all, having my first junk food of the day (thank god for claud and those 2 bite brownies), just fun stuff.
*7:30---got there in time for COCKTAIL HOUR..woot woot! had my fill of free daiquiries till i could barely breathe in my dress.
*8:00---they opened the doors...the ballroom was so gorgeous. awesome chandeliers and drapes and masks as the centerpieces and little masks for us to wear and that enormous 16-ft eiffel tower in the corner. i would be impressed, but i'll be seeing the real one in 2 weeks, so it just doesn't do anything for me...bwa ha ha. but yea, it was beautiful. and the senior slide show was awesome thanks to the lovely cerrato. and i had like 2 pics of sam in it, so that made me happy. good music, good dancing (SPPPAAACCCCEEE!!!), some wasted friends who made me laugh (you know who you are...bad bad lil catholic school kids), real good company (thanks to the whole limo and the whole table for being so fun and awesome), and real good friends who could see right through me despite all my efforts who loved me and made me smile and made me pretty happy to where i was with who i was with, considering the circumstances. thanks peeps.
*11:30---booked our asses outta there. after a painful dance to "my best friend" with alex...french, thank you for that...and i'm sorry i teared/snotted all over your jacket...and a heartwarming sing-along to "i hope you had the time of your life". did some serious munching in the limo...i was real mellow though. claudia and billy were so great just sitting there looking at each other...made me think about those looks that sam gives me that just make me feel so vulnerable, but so happy to be, those piercing looks where he sees more than me, more than my heart, more than my soul...and those admiring looks, where it's like he just can't believe that i'm his and we're so perfect, where he just stares and smiles and plays with my hair or kisses me...okay, moving on, sorry about that.
*12:00---back to the wyndham. got the f outta my dress and into some jammies. roomhopped for a lil while but alex was being weird and everyone was getting wasted, so i ended up starting the "lets be mellow and have deep conversation" room in our (me, phil, alex, andrew, and desosa's) room. did some serious bonding with funny/philosophical drunk kevin and funny/adorable drunk andrew, and watched cerrato and her b/f get all gropey (then left, lol). got lots of drunken phone calls.
*4:00---everyone started filing back into our room. it ended up being me, phil, and kevin in one bed, desosa and andrew in another...and alex on the bathroom floor next to the toilet with the pillow n blanket i brought him.
*6:30---after lots of talking, we all fell asleep (except for desosa n andrew, with their waking up/ not waking up business) and were up at 9:30.
*11:00---checked out and headed over to denny's for an amazing post-prom pig-out. i love not having to diet for anything. not like i was really dieting before, considering i had like 6 munchkins and 2 cupcakes in like an hour the day before prom, lol.
---holy shit, i almost forgot..DESOSA GOT PROM QUEEN! how excited was i that my vote actually counted for something! and that this vote actually did go on kindness and lovability, and morals.
-yea, so a lil after denny's, i took sam's little sister out for ice cream at jaxson's...hardcore awesomely amazing goodness.
-then i went to church with the fam and ended up coming home and just chilling. lots of writing to sam and playing online and just hangin out. it was nice.
-sunday slept nice and late and played in the pool for a little while, trying desperately to hide my tattoo from daddy. watched my niece swimming 3 strokes by herself under water. i can't believe how big she is...she's frickin 3. and so sad to know that i'm not gonna be here all the time to watch her grow for much longer. she starts st. david in august! poor kid, lol. what a legacy of mine to live up to. then i met up with tina and dee monizzle and eventually cruzer at dee's casa to "study" for calc...yea right. then went to angela's and talked to her and alyssa for a while, then picked up my 101 pics i got developed sunday morning. i talked to desosa till like 11:30, wrote sam till like 1, and got him another package ready till like 1:30, knowing i had my ap bio test to take today. hardcore slacker time.
-today was one of the worst days ever. i woke up late after hitting snooze a few times, and woke up so frantically that i must have thrown the pic of sam n me that i sleep with every night somewhere and i couldn't find it to save my life. i prayed and prayed to st. anthony which ALWAYS works for me and i couldn't frickin find it. i was heartbroken. then i ran outta the house and forgot to put sam's necklace on...adding more emo-ness to heartbreak. then the bio test was so long and so annoying and so gay and SUCH A FAILURE. then i had therapy, which was good, then came home. and my stepmom told me she'd still pay me if i didn't go to work cuz she knows i had a shitty day and i've been tired n sick, so i went to the UPS store with my package and went to the bank, came home, talked to cheryl, and here i am.
-i should be studying for my calc final, but i don't wanna. it sucks, and i hate it. i wanna kill calculus and all it stands for. wow, it's hitting me so much that i'm outta here so soon. so unbelievably soon. and it's so sad and so exciting and so many emotions are driving me crazy and I'M SO TIRED and I MISS SAM SO MUCH IT STILL HURTS TO BREATHE. okay, gotta go rest a lil n compose n write my soldier. super long entry, sorry for those of you who actually read em.
*7:30---woke up to a call that was sam's mom thinking i had school and telling me she had gotten sam's address!!! so needless to say, i was frickin up and hoppin about like a horny kangaroo. i went to walgreens to develop pics but the digital machine doesn't get turned on till 9:30, so i crawled back into bed to wait till 9:30 when i could get moving on my package for sam and my prom plans.
*9:30---woke up, ate some breakfast, shot off to walgreens and got like 80 pictures developed, about 50 for sam. came home, laid out for a little while since it was gorgeous (yay my prayers were answered!) and then went to walgreens and picked up my pics. then i ran right over to the UPS store in the same plaza and overnighted sam a package with all my 20 letters from the past 2 weeks (holy shit he's got some reading on his hands), then woke up miss angela who was being a hobo.
*1:30---appt at the salon for my hurrrr. angela met me there. i'm so glad she did cuz the place was frickin snazzy and i was a lil intimidated, but thanks to desosa, i knew i would not leave until i was 100% happy with my hair, but i had angi as a support system, and i trust her judgment. i told the lady a general gist of what i wanted and let her got nuts. and it came out crazy funky cool (lol, reminds me of TLC). then i had my makeup done and that turned out not too shabby.
*4:30---my sister helped me into my big poofy dress and tied me up like a mother f'in sausage. and she helped me put those weird ass chicken breast self-adhesive bra thingies on me.
*5:30---alex got to my house. then we all followed my dad and his UNBELIEVABLY SLOW DRIVING (which is a painfully common bond our dads have) to the wyndham. took lots of pics, socialized, etc. alex's dad is the crazy paparazzi man, it was adorable. he was like popping out from behind trees and shit. i was seriously waiting for him to come riding by on one of those swans. everyone looked gorgeous. i'm so glad i have pretty friends to take the attention off me and how gross i am. and i'm so glad i have a boyfriend who's crazy enough to think i'm the most beautiful girl in the world.
*7:00---limo came and got us from the wyndham...our gorgeous super hot hummer limo. we piled in, had a glorious mountain dew toast to senior year and our awesome class, and headed out. pretty fun limo ride. offending our limo driver at random intervals, bonding with fellow hummer limos who we don't know at all, having my first junk food of the day (thank god for claud and those 2 bite brownies), just fun stuff.
*7:30---got there in time for COCKTAIL HOUR..woot woot! had my fill of free daiquiries till i could barely breathe in my dress.
*8:00---they opened the doors...the ballroom was so gorgeous. awesome chandeliers and drapes and masks as the centerpieces and little masks for us to wear and that enormous 16-ft eiffel tower in the corner. i would be impressed, but i'll be seeing the real one in 2 weeks, so it just doesn't do anything for me...bwa ha ha. but yea, it was beautiful. and the senior slide show was awesome thanks to the lovely cerrato. and i had like 2 pics of sam in it, so that made me happy. good music, good dancing (SPPPAAACCCCEEE!!!), some wasted friends who made me laugh (you know who you are...bad bad lil catholic school kids), real good company (thanks to the whole limo and the whole table for being so fun and awesome), and real good friends who could see right through me despite all my efforts who loved me and made me smile and made me pretty happy to where i was with who i was with, considering the circumstances. thanks peeps.
*11:30---booked our asses outta there. after a painful dance to "my best friend" with alex...french, thank you for that...and i'm sorry i teared/snotted all over your jacket...and a heartwarming sing-along to "i hope you had the time of your life". did some serious munching in the limo...i was real mellow though. claudia and billy were so great just sitting there looking at each other...made me think about those looks that sam gives me that just make me feel so vulnerable, but so happy to be, those piercing looks where he sees more than me, more than my heart, more than my soul...and those admiring looks, where it's like he just can't believe that i'm his and we're so perfect, where he just stares and smiles and plays with my hair or kisses me...okay, moving on, sorry about that.
*12:00---back to the wyndham. got the f outta my dress and into some jammies. roomhopped for a lil while but alex was being weird and everyone was getting wasted, so i ended up starting the "lets be mellow and have deep conversation" room in our (me, phil, alex, andrew, and desosa's) room. did some serious bonding with funny/philosophical drunk kevin and funny/adorable drunk andrew, and watched cerrato and her b/f get all gropey (then left, lol). got lots of drunken phone calls.
*4:00---everyone started filing back into our room. it ended up being me, phil, and kevin in one bed, desosa and andrew in another...and alex on the bathroom floor next to the toilet with the pillow n blanket i brought him.
*6:30---after lots of talking, we all fell asleep (except for desosa n andrew, with their waking up/ not waking up business) and were up at 9:30.
*11:00---checked out and headed over to denny's for an amazing post-prom pig-out. i love not having to diet for anything. not like i was really dieting before, considering i had like 6 munchkins and 2 cupcakes in like an hour the day before prom, lol.
---holy shit, i almost forgot..DESOSA GOT PROM QUEEN! how excited was i that my vote actually counted for something! and that this vote actually did go on kindness and lovability, and morals.
-yea, so a lil after denny's, i took sam's little sister out for ice cream at jaxson's...hardcore awesomely amazing goodness.
-then i went to church with the fam and ended up coming home and just chilling. lots of writing to sam and playing online and just hangin out. it was nice.
-sunday slept nice and late and played in the pool for a little while, trying desperately to hide my tattoo from daddy. watched my niece swimming 3 strokes by herself under water. i can't believe how big she is...she's frickin 3. and so sad to know that i'm not gonna be here all the time to watch her grow for much longer. she starts st. david in august! poor kid, lol. what a legacy of mine to live up to. then i met up with tina and dee monizzle and eventually cruzer at dee's casa to "study" for calc...yea right. then went to angela's and talked to her and alyssa for a while, then picked up my 101 pics i got developed sunday morning. i talked to desosa till like 11:30, wrote sam till like 1, and got him another package ready till like 1:30, knowing i had my ap bio test to take today. hardcore slacker time.
-today was one of the worst days ever. i woke up late after hitting snooze a few times, and woke up so frantically that i must have thrown the pic of sam n me that i sleep with every night somewhere and i couldn't find it to save my life. i prayed and prayed to st. anthony which ALWAYS works for me and i couldn't frickin find it. i was heartbroken. then i ran outta the house and forgot to put sam's necklace on...adding more emo-ness to heartbreak. then the bio test was so long and so annoying and so gay and SUCH A FAILURE. then i had therapy, which was good, then came home. and my stepmom told me she'd still pay me if i didn't go to work cuz she knows i had a shitty day and i've been tired n sick, so i went to the UPS store with my package and went to the bank, came home, talked to cheryl, and here i am.
-i should be studying for my calc final, but i don't wanna. it sucks, and i hate it. i wanna kill calculus and all it stands for. wow, it's hitting me so much that i'm outta here so soon. so unbelievably soon. and it's so sad and so exciting and so many emotions are driving me crazy and I'M SO TIRED and I MISS SAM SO MUCH IT STILL HURTS TO BREATHE. okay, gotta go rest a lil n compose n write my soldier. super long entry, sorry for those of you who actually read em.