and as days go by, the memories remain..i'll wait for you...i won't let go
-SAM CALLED ME LAST NIGHT. it was at 8. i didn't leave my house all day cuz his parents said he'd be able to call. so i pick up my house phone and hear, "You have a collect call from..." and then i heard his perfect, perfect voice, "SAAAAAAAMM". and i was spazzing out. he could only talk for like a minute, which made me all the more a spazz. here's the gist of the conversation:
(after lots of hi's and i love you's and me freakin out)
sam: hey baby, i can only talk for like a minute, but i love you.
me: i love you, too. how are you, are you doing okay?
sam: yea, i am. have you gotten all my letters?
me: yea, and that last one you sent me was the best thing i've ever read, it literally took my breath away.
sam: good...i'm marrying you when i come home.
me: (crying now, cuz i'm a homo) okay baby, i love you.
sam: i love you too, but i gotta go, tell my parents i called. i'm sending a letter that has my real address in it. i miss you, i love you. bye baby.
me: bye, i love you...i love you sam.
sam: love you too, bye.
(click)
most painfully short conversation of my life. literally ripped me apart with too many emotions to even begin describing. i'm just so grateful that i got to talk to him...best 30 seconds ever, worst after effect ever. but i realized that i have to be strong for him...it was my first conscious decision to do something for US. to stop being miserable and stop spazzing out FOR US. it's the most amazing feeling in the world, to know that you're not living your life for yourself anymore, that you're living a life together for each other. holy crap, it's just the best thing ever.
-school today was not so bad...i like going to school now because it keeps me distracted and uppety, even though i have my very non-uppety moments at school, but that's just cuz i'm emo and frustrated and ready to mother f'in graduate already for the love of God!
-proooom, prom, prom...what am i gonna do with you?
-hawthorne heights reminds me too much of sam..it's painfully awesome to listen to them...but i have to...too awesome.
-sadd presentations are gay...real real gay. i wanna have a happy presentation that just sets up designated drivers for everyone, doesn't tell em not to drink. i think that would be much more effective.
-i forgot how much i love the old northstar cd, since this guy i dated ran over it with his car cuz he's a bitter homosexual and made it all skippy.
-i hope the next 3 and a half months go by as fast as i want them to and everyone says they will. here's my schedule:
***may 12-outta school...stupid ap macro exam
***lots of graduation parties between that and paris
***may 18-19-UF preview
***may 20-GRADU-MOTHER F'IN-ATION
***may 25-june 12-PARIIISSSSSSSSS
***between june 22-27-move in to my dorm!!!!!!!!!!
***june 27-classes start
***august 5-classes end...
THEN MY SAMUEL COMES HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! and my life can begin!
-alrite, i'm off to occupy myself until 7 and the uber gay presentation.
...days without letters suck...
(after lots of hi's and i love you's and me freakin out)
sam: hey baby, i can only talk for like a minute, but i love you.
me: i love you, too. how are you, are you doing okay?
sam: yea, i am. have you gotten all my letters?
me: yea, and that last one you sent me was the best thing i've ever read, it literally took my breath away.
sam: good...i'm marrying you when i come home.
me: (crying now, cuz i'm a homo) okay baby, i love you.
sam: i love you too, but i gotta go, tell my parents i called. i'm sending a letter that has my real address in it. i miss you, i love you. bye baby.
me: bye, i love you...i love you sam.
sam: love you too, bye.
(click)
most painfully short conversation of my life. literally ripped me apart with too many emotions to even begin describing. i'm just so grateful that i got to talk to him...best 30 seconds ever, worst after effect ever. but i realized that i have to be strong for him...it was my first conscious decision to do something for US. to stop being miserable and stop spazzing out FOR US. it's the most amazing feeling in the world, to know that you're not living your life for yourself anymore, that you're living a life together for each other. holy crap, it's just the best thing ever.
-school today was not so bad...i like going to school now because it keeps me distracted and uppety, even though i have my very non-uppety moments at school, but that's just cuz i'm emo and frustrated and ready to mother f'in graduate already for the love of God!
-proooom, prom, prom...what am i gonna do with you?
-hawthorne heights reminds me too much of sam..it's painfully awesome to listen to them...but i have to...too awesome.
-sadd presentations are gay...real real gay. i wanna have a happy presentation that just sets up designated drivers for everyone, doesn't tell em not to drink. i think that would be much more effective.
-i forgot how much i love the old northstar cd, since this guy i dated ran over it with his car cuz he's a bitter homosexual and made it all skippy.
-i hope the next 3 and a half months go by as fast as i want them to and everyone says they will. here's my schedule:
***may 12-outta school...stupid ap macro exam
***lots of graduation parties between that and paris
***may 18-19-UF preview
***may 20-GRADU-MOTHER F'IN-ATION
***may 25-june 12-PARIIISSSSSSSSS
***between june 22-27-move in to my dorm!!!!!!!!!!
***june 27-classes start
***august 5-classes end...
THEN MY SAMUEL COMES HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! and my life can begin!
-alrite, i'm off to occupy myself until 7 and the uber gay presentation.
...days without letters suck...