(no subject)
hey everyone...
well its been a while since I updated do I thought I would.
Nothing much is giong on with me really... just kinda here... im lonely and nothing seems to be able to feel that void in my heart... im tired of just being the friend or being wanted just for a hookup, I want a relationship with someone... someone who wants to get to know me and perhaps someone who I can fall in love with and whom can fall in love with me... im just so tired of being single... I know people always say you shouldn't need a guy to make you happy and blah blah blah... well I dont' need a guy to make me happy.. i want a guy to make me happy... does that make sense? im just tired of being alone.. I want someone to hold me and kiss me and tell me everything is alright... maybe im just asking for too much.. I dunno... it just seems like everywhere I look I see all these couples and all I can do is long and hope for that but it never seems to come my way... its times like these where I miss what me and Carlos had... not the bad times and the fights... but the love that we shared and the good times we had... in a perfect world everything would have been perfect in that relationship but it was far from being perfect... but at least I knew that I was loved and that I loved someone more then any normal person could ever love another... I guess sometimes I just miss being in a relationship and being told that I'm not (in a "im in love with you" kinda way) I know what me and carlos had wasn't good or healthy.. but at least I wasn't alone... I dunno... sometimes I just wonder what would have happened if I would of stuck it out and went further with our rellationship... becuase nothing is ever going to feel like your first love... your first love never dies and I truely believe that!
but other then the whole love life part life seems ok for now... Im still trying to get in the swing of things and stuff... and I really need a car because things aren't working out with the whold transportation thing....
well yeah.. i think im done for now..
loves
well its been a while since I updated do I thought I would.
Nothing much is giong on with me really... just kinda here... im lonely and nothing seems to be able to feel that void in my heart... im tired of just being the friend or being wanted just for a hookup, I want a relationship with someone... someone who wants to get to know me and perhaps someone who I can fall in love with and whom can fall in love with me... im just so tired of being single... I know people always say you shouldn't need a guy to make you happy and blah blah blah... well I dont' need a guy to make me happy.. i want a guy to make me happy... does that make sense? im just tired of being alone.. I want someone to hold me and kiss me and tell me everything is alright... maybe im just asking for too much.. I dunno... it just seems like everywhere I look I see all these couples and all I can do is long and hope for that but it never seems to come my way... its times like these where I miss what me and Carlos had... not the bad times and the fights... but the love that we shared and the good times we had... in a perfect world everything would have been perfect in that relationship but it was far from being perfect... but at least I knew that I was loved and that I loved someone more then any normal person could ever love another... I guess sometimes I just miss being in a relationship and being told that I'm not (in a "im in love with you" kinda way) I know what me and carlos had wasn't good or healthy.. but at least I wasn't alone... I dunno... sometimes I just wonder what would have happened if I would of stuck it out and went further with our rellationship... becuase nothing is ever going to feel like your first love... your first love never dies and I truely believe that!
but other then the whole love life part life seems ok for now... Im still trying to get in the swing of things and stuff... and I really need a car because things aren't working out with the whold transportation thing....
well yeah.. i think im done for now..
loves