maybe i'm just imaginary.

[_s_secrets]

he said i was a figment of his imagination.
i said no, i'm real.
and he said he'll never know.
so i said i'll never know either.

i know things but i don't want to believe in them.
i don't want to see the clocks, and i don't want to turn on the lights.
i don't want to know that i'm awake when i could be dreaming.
i don't want to know this is my life,
when it could be a preview or a flash back.
i don't what to know what's real, when i could survive off pretending.
i don't want to be here, when i could just be in his head.
because i know better to believe all their little theories,
but i don't know better than to wish they were true.

this is it, and no one's satisfied. we'd rather pretend that we're still waiting for something, we'd rather raise our expectations. but raising expectations just means that what you're hoping for is now this much farther off. but we live off hoping, it gives us purpose. it gives us reasons to wake up every morning. deep down inside, you still think that tomorrow is the day everything will change. it's silly and you'd never tell a soul. is that why you cry at night? we're not easily pleased, so are we afraid, or just too lazy?

your life is yours to create.
and you're just sitting there.