Hi

[tinkerbellrox]

My close friend is anorexic. I can barely stand to look at her anymore, maybe even talk to her. I've known about it for a while, and I've been doing my best to help her without having to get her a shrink because

Comments

Try to be strong

[freaky_c]

I know it's really hard to hear but you can't be the one who saves your friend. She has to want to get better and nothing you say or do will make that happen. The more frustrated and angry and hurt you feel the less you'll start to just be there to listen to her. The nature of the illness is that she may even really hurt you and push you away completely. You need to hang onto the friend you knew before and hope that when she gets better she'll remember that you were there for her as much as she would let you be. Every single one of my close female friends and even my first serious boyfriend have been anorexic. It's an incredibly painful thing to be put through as a friend but you didn't make them anorexic and you can't make them better. Try to stay positive. Listen to your friend. Encourage her to talk to you by not judging what she says or trying to force her to seek help but remind her that there is help available when she wants it. She needs to know that you love her just the way she is and that you're willing to be there for her no matter what but that you feel she deserves better for herself and that she can take it when she's ready. It's a really hard thing to do so don't beat yourself up if you don't succeed. You didn't kill her. Sometimes all you can do is let someone do it themselves. And that really sucks. If you're the praying type, find strenght in God and ask Him to be there for her all the time. I'm going through the same thing with a friend now. I pushed too hard because her parents refuse to see that there's a problem and now she refuses to speak to me. All I can do for her now is pray. I'll be thinking of you and your friend. Also, if you're interested, I'm putting together a show on anorexics and how their friends deal with it so if you'd like to e-mail me my address is candice_vl@yahoo.co.uk

I know you're worried about her, but look after yourself too. It's very easy to get depressed in this situation.

Candice