You would cry too if it happened to you...
LJ Idol, Week 1 - Here there Be Dragons
(( Bing & Lambert are tiny faeries (Tighe Faeries) and are about 2" tall with bulbous potbellies and nearly hairless little heads. They are identical twin brothers and have a deathly fear of cats. Just sayin'.))
Weeks ago, Prince Leopold had slain the vile dragon that had been terrorizing the realm for more than a fortnight and the celebration at the palace showed no signs of waning.
Bing and Bert, never ones to miss out on a shindig, had partied non-stop for what felt like EVER, and the two were drunk, exhausted, and nigh on belligerent. They'd been trying to find their rooms for well over an hour, but the hallways all looked the same inside the palace.
"Wasn't there striped wall paper on that LAST floor?" Bert groaned as he trudged along beside his brother.
"No, dummy," said Bing, "flowered wall paper was on the last floor. Striped was on the floor before that."
"Whatever!" Bert grumped loudly. His feet were throbbing inside his tiny leather shoes.
"Actually..." Bing had paused and was rubbing his hairless chin thoughtfully. "Do you think we could have been on this same floor two floors ago? Or is this a different one?"
"GAHH!" Bert harrumphed. "You told me you knew how to get to our rooms!"
"I DO know how to get to them," Bing insisted. "They're right down this way!" he pointed ahead of them, where the hallway seemed to extend onward almost indefinitely.
"But we already CHECKED this floor!" Bert rounded on his brother. "Just admit it. You have no idea where we are or where we're going." He sighed loudly and threw his hands up in disgust.
"That's not true! We're going to our rooms! How could I not know that?!"
"I MEAN," Bert had lost his patience, "that-you-don't-know-how-to-GET-to-our-rooms!!"
"But..."
"Oh move out of my way!" Lambert shoved his brother aside, planning to return to the stairwell to ask one of the servants for directions, but as the tiny faerie turned, he froze, his breath catching in his throat, causing him to cough and gasp for breath. "C.. C... Ca..."
"Go on with ya then!" Bing was furious and refused to look at Bert. He stood staring at the door across the hallway from his brother, arms crossed and toe tapping.
"C... Ca.." Bert lifted his arm and pointed weakly toward the stretch of hallway behind Bing.
"What?"
"C... C..."
"What's the MATTER with you brother? Cat got your tongue?" Bing hayucked at his own silly joke, and bent to slap one knee in merriment, but his hand froze in mid-air just before it connected and in slow motion, he turned to look the direction his brother was facing and saw a white cat poised only steps away from them, ready to pounce at any moment.
"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!!!!" Bing screamed, grabbing his brother's arm and making a leap for the crack beneath the door behind Bert. Bing deftly rolled beneath the door and into the room beyond, his hand still gripping his brother's, but Bert was still on the other side of the door in the hallway, now lying on his back but crammed up against the door, his potbelly being just enough girth that he could not slip beneath it.
"GET IN HERE!" Bing shouted at Bert, tugging repeatedly at his hand. "Squeeze under the door Bert! NOW!"
Bert was sucking in his gut and grunting at the same time, trying to force himself beneath the door, but it just wasn't going to happen.
The muscles of the white cat's leg twitched and Bert let forth a series of terrified screams and lay there bunched up at the crack of the door with one arm stretched beneath and gripping at his brother's hand in the interior of the room. The other arm had been thrown across his eyes in a feeble attempt to block the hideously ferocious feline attacker from his view. Bert wasn't even yet aware that he had wet himself and a dark stain now bloomed across the front of his red party pants.
The cat darted his tongue out to lick at his whiskers, then he spoke: "Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you." He put one paw out toward Bert.
Bert, who'd been peeking at the cat through a crack between his fingers, screamed again and thrashed against the foot of the door trying to wrest his hand back from his brother so that he could attempt to make a getaway.
"Listen to me Lambert," Bing tried to coach him from within the safe interior of the guest room in which he'd found haven. "Don't panic, brother. Flatten yourself against the floor and slide beneath the door. Bert, LISTEN TO ME!" he jerked on his brother's hand.
"Let-go-of-my-hand BING! LET GOOOOO! Let..." Bert ceased to struggle and slumped into a limp pile upon the floor. He'd thrashed so violently against the door in his attempt to get away that he'd clocked his head heavily against the solid oak and had knocked himself clean out*.
"BERT?!" Bing shouted as his brother's hand went limp in his own. The increasing panic was apparent in his voice. "BERT!! You answer me right this second, brother!" A pitiful sob escaped Bing's lips as tears coursed freely down his cheeks. "Bert..?" this last was barely a whisper.
The cat bent to peer beneath the door and Bing's sobs caught in his throat as he saw one huge golden eye peeking through the crack.
"Get away from me you.. you... YOU MURDERER!!" Bing scrambled to his feet, wiping at the snot hanging from his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. "You killed... my... br... BROTHERRRRR! Myyy... " he collapsed upon the floor in uncontrollable sobs punctuated by several pitiful "Berts".
The cat, bored with it all, moved along down the corridor, but it was a solid half hour of serious sniveling before Bing even noticed.
. . . . .
*[No faeries were (seriously) harmed during the writing of this story.]
(( Bing & Lambert are tiny faeries (Tighe Faeries) and are about 2" tall with bulbous potbellies and nearly hairless little heads. They are identical twin brothers and have a deathly fear of cats. Just sayin'.))
Weeks ago, Prince Leopold had slain the vile dragon that had been terrorizing the realm for more than a fortnight and the celebration at the palace showed no signs of waning.
Bing and Bert, never ones to miss out on a shindig, had partied non-stop for what felt like EVER, and the two were drunk, exhausted, and nigh on belligerent. They'd been trying to find their rooms for well over an hour, but the hallways all looked the same inside the palace.
"Wasn't there striped wall paper on that LAST floor?" Bert groaned as he trudged along beside his brother.
"No, dummy," said Bing, "flowered wall paper was on the last floor. Striped was on the floor before that."
"Whatever!" Bert grumped loudly. His feet were throbbing inside his tiny leather shoes.
"Actually..." Bing had paused and was rubbing his hairless chin thoughtfully. "Do you think we could have been on this same floor two floors ago? Or is this a different one?"
"GAHH!" Bert harrumphed. "You told me you knew how to get to our rooms!"
"I DO know how to get to them," Bing insisted. "They're right down this way!" he pointed ahead of them, where the hallway seemed to extend onward almost indefinitely.
"But we already CHECKED this floor!" Bert rounded on his brother. "Just admit it. You have no idea where we are or where we're going." He sighed loudly and threw his hands up in disgust.
"That's not true! We're going to our rooms! How could I not know that?!"
"I MEAN," Bert had lost his patience, "that-you-don't-know-how-to-GET-to-our-rooms!!"
"But..."
"Oh move out of my way!" Lambert shoved his brother aside, planning to return to the stairwell to ask one of the servants for directions, but as the tiny faerie turned, he froze, his breath catching in his throat, causing him to cough and gasp for breath. "C.. C... Ca..."
"Go on with ya then!" Bing was furious and refused to look at Bert. He stood staring at the door across the hallway from his brother, arms crossed and toe tapping.
"C... Ca.." Bert lifted his arm and pointed weakly toward the stretch of hallway behind Bing.
"What?"
"C... C..."
"What's the MATTER with you brother? Cat got your tongue?" Bing hayucked at his own silly joke, and bent to slap one knee in merriment, but his hand froze in mid-air just before it connected and in slow motion, he turned to look the direction his brother was facing and saw a white cat poised only steps away from them, ready to pounce at any moment.
"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!!!!" Bing screamed, grabbing his brother's arm and making a leap for the crack beneath the door behind Bert. Bing deftly rolled beneath the door and into the room beyond, his hand still gripping his brother's, but Bert was still on the other side of the door in the hallway, now lying on his back but crammed up against the door, his potbelly being just enough girth that he could not slip beneath it.
"GET IN HERE!" Bing shouted at Bert, tugging repeatedly at his hand. "Squeeze under the door Bert! NOW!"
Bert was sucking in his gut and grunting at the same time, trying to force himself beneath the door, but it just wasn't going to happen.
The muscles of the white cat's leg twitched and Bert let forth a series of terrified screams and lay there bunched up at the crack of the door with one arm stretched beneath and gripping at his brother's hand in the interior of the room. The other arm had been thrown across his eyes in a feeble attempt to block the hideously ferocious feline attacker from his view. Bert wasn't even yet aware that he had wet himself and a dark stain now bloomed across the front of his red party pants.
The cat darted his tongue out to lick at his whiskers, then he spoke: "Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you." He put one paw out toward Bert.
Bert, who'd been peeking at the cat through a crack between his fingers, screamed again and thrashed against the foot of the door trying to wrest his hand back from his brother so that he could attempt to make a getaway.
"Listen to me Lambert," Bing tried to coach him from within the safe interior of the guest room in which he'd found haven. "Don't panic, brother. Flatten yourself against the floor and slide beneath the door. Bert, LISTEN TO ME!" he jerked on his brother's hand.
"Let-go-of-my-hand BING! LET GOOOOO! Let..." Bert ceased to struggle and slumped into a limp pile upon the floor. He'd thrashed so violently against the door in his attempt to get away that he'd clocked his head heavily against the solid oak and had knocked himself clean out*.
"BERT?!" Bing shouted as his brother's hand went limp in his own. The increasing panic was apparent in his voice. "BERT!! You answer me right this second, brother!" A pitiful sob escaped Bing's lips as tears coursed freely down his cheeks. "Bert..?" this last was barely a whisper.
The cat bent to peer beneath the door and Bing's sobs caught in his throat as he saw one huge golden eye peeking through the crack.
"Get away from me you.. you... YOU MURDERER!!" Bing scrambled to his feet, wiping at the snot hanging from his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. "You killed... my... br... BROTHERRRRR! Myyy... " he collapsed upon the floor in uncontrollable sobs punctuated by several pitiful "Berts".
The cat, bored with it all, moved along down the corridor, but it was a solid half hour of serious sniveling before Bing even noticed.
. . . . .
*[No faeries were (seriously) harmed during the writing of this story.]