...got caught up in all there was to offer...
I don't understand.
I don't understand what it is the PTB want me to do here, how they want me to fix everything that's happened. I've been back three days and none of this makes any sense.
It feels like I don't fit now. Not just with the guys but... Like, inside. Like I don't fit in my own skin any more. I've lived here 19 years more than my evil body-hijacker and I feel like I'm the intruder, like I'm the one who shouldn't be here.
I moved into my new apartment last night. Eve sorta helped me get settled in and everything, tried to make sure I was okay in my fancy-ass apartment with the huge TV and the fantastic view. Call me old fashioned? But I miss Dennis. Kinda get used to having a ghost around and all.
She seems kinda nice and I guess I have to get along with her for Doyle's sake alone but... I dunno, I was getting a vibe, she was vibey. Maybe it's just that whole Senior Partner connection thingy.
I kinda... Blew Doyle off last night, told him that I had things to do and that yeah, I was fine. I don't think he believed me. Hell, I didn't even believe me.
He said himself that it'd take more than an almighty mystical coma to keep me down and he was right but... I don't get it, is all, and I'm starting to think that nobody else gets it either. I mean, why the hell am I here? From what the PTB showed me, I should have died. The only reason I'm back here is to make right what I did which, hey, fine by me, only... My making it right? It's going to kill Doyle. He came back because Angel needed a Seer, a connection to the Powers and now... Well, look at me. Hi, non-evil and awake!
*sighs* I don't know where that leaves Doyle. Or me. I just... I don't fit here. I don't know how to start making right what happened last year, especially not since the only person who raises an eyebrow when I mention the word Connor is Eve. I don't know how to get it all back on track again and from the looks of things? The PTB aren't going to be very forthcoming with the information, either.
It just doesn't make sense, any of it. I guess that's the thing with posessions and coma's and stuff though. Everything changes and when you wake up? Nothing's where you left it. No-one's the same.
And things just stop making sense.
I don't understand what it is the PTB want me to do here, how they want me to fix everything that's happened. I've been back three days and none of this makes any sense.
It feels like I don't fit now. Not just with the guys but... Like, inside. Like I don't fit in my own skin any more. I've lived here 19 years more than my evil body-hijacker and I feel like I'm the intruder, like I'm the one who shouldn't be here.
I moved into my new apartment last night. Eve sorta helped me get settled in and everything, tried to make sure I was okay in my fancy-ass apartment with the huge TV and the fantastic view. Call me old fashioned? But I miss Dennis. Kinda get used to having a ghost around and all.
She seems kinda nice and I guess I have to get along with her for Doyle's sake alone but... I dunno, I was getting a vibe, she was vibey. Maybe it's just that whole Senior Partner connection thingy.
I kinda... Blew Doyle off last night, told him that I had things to do and that yeah, I was fine. I don't think he believed me. Hell, I didn't even believe me.
He said himself that it'd take more than an almighty mystical coma to keep me down and he was right but... I don't get it, is all, and I'm starting to think that nobody else gets it either. I mean, why the hell am I here? From what the PTB showed me, I should have died. The only reason I'm back here is to make right what I did which, hey, fine by me, only... My making it right? It's going to kill Doyle. He came back because Angel needed a Seer, a connection to the Powers and now... Well, look at me. Hi, non-evil and awake!
*sighs* I don't know where that leaves Doyle. Or me. I just... I don't fit here. I don't know how to start making right what happened last year, especially not since the only person who raises an eyebrow when I mention the word Connor is Eve. I don't know how to get it all back on track again and from the looks of things? The PTB aren't going to be very forthcoming with the information, either.
It just doesn't make sense, any of it. I guess that's the thing with posessions and coma's and stuff though. Everything changes and when you wake up? Nothing's where you left it. No-one's the same.
And things just stop making sense.