(no subject)
Last year when I first came to Dover, someone asked where I was from. Not an unordinary question Freshman year. I told them I was from Barrington. They asked me if I ever went cow tipping.
This hasn't happened too many times, but enough that I feel it is necessary to write a journal entry explaining the art of cow tipping.
And how I have not tried it.
The Art of Cow Tipping
If you want to try cow tipping, first go to a party, and get shit faced. It's the only way you'll have an excuse for trying to tip a cow in the first place. Cows need about four hours of sleep a night. It is an animal's natural instinct to sleep when the sun has sunken beneath the horizon, so about two hours after sundown, drive out to a pasture. Make sure the pasture has cows and not bulls. A bull usually has horns. The best way to tell if one of these creatures is a bull is to show them the color red. Sometimes it is hard to see the horns when your BAL is above .1 .
Cows sleep standing up. Cows have a horrible sense of balance, kind of like you while you're drunk and trying to tip a cow. The two kind of cancel each other out. Plus there's the weight ratio. A 2000 pound beast to a 200 pound man. Studies show, however, that it is possible to tip a cow with the effort of two men.
So, let's see how we come up with this solution.
Cow Part Sizes (ft squared)
Cow body volume = (2.5)(2.5)(6) = 37.5
Cow head volume = (3.14)(.5)(.5)(1) = .785
Cow leg volume = (.5)(.5)(2.5) = .625
Tail volume = Negligable
Center of Mass
Part
Volume
XCenter
YCenter
ZCenter
X(V)
Y(V)
Z(V)
Body
37.5
1.25
3
3.75
46.875
112.5
140.625
Head
.785
1.25
6.5
5.5
.98125
5.1025
4.3175
Leg 1
.625
.25
.25
1.25
.15625
.15625
.78125
Leg 2
.625
2.25
.25
1.25
1.40625
.15625
.78125
Leg 3
.625
.25
2.25
1.25
.15625
1.40625
.78125
Leg 4
.625
2.25
2.25
1.25
1.40625
1.40625
.78125
Total
40.785
----
----
----
50.98125
120.7275
148.0675
XCenter = 50.98125 / 40.785 = 1.25
YCenter = 120.7275 / 40.785 = 2.96
ZCenter = 148.0675 / 40.785 = 3.63
Mass of average cow: 1400 lbs.
Pushing force of human:
Average height of person = 6'
Average height of arms = 5'
Average horizontal push force = 300 lbs.
Force of Friction = 1400(.45) = 630 lbs.
(The cow will not slide)
Back view of cow:
MA = 300(5) - 1400(1.25) = -250
(Counter-clockwise)
Results
After taken a counter clockwise moment about point A, it is shown that the cow creates more turning force than the human pushing force if the cow is balanced. When force is applied to the balanced cow, the normal force is 1400 lbs. moves to point A. The calculated moment comes out to -250 lbs. which is 250 foot pounds of force keeping the cow's feet on the ground. Accroding to my calculations...
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR AN AVERAGE SIZED MAN (nevermind my 100 pounds of fury) TO TIP A COW.
Even if they did have a few sips of liquid courage.
So you still want to tip a cow?
How many people would it take?
Try two.
Pushing force = 2 x 300 = 600 lbs
MA = 600(5) - 1400(1.25) = 1250
(Counter-clockwise)
So get two average sized men, or six of me together, bring 'em out to ol' B-town, and let's go tip some cows.
This hasn't happened too many times, but enough that I feel it is necessary to write a journal entry explaining the art of cow tipping.
And how I have not tried it.
The Art of Cow Tipping
If you want to try cow tipping, first go to a party, and get shit faced. It's the only way you'll have an excuse for trying to tip a cow in the first place. Cows need about four hours of sleep a night. It is an animal's natural instinct to sleep when the sun has sunken beneath the horizon, so about two hours after sundown, drive out to a pasture. Make sure the pasture has cows and not bulls. A bull usually has horns. The best way to tell if one of these creatures is a bull is to show them the color red. Sometimes it is hard to see the horns when your BAL is above .1 .
Cows sleep standing up. Cows have a horrible sense of balance, kind of like you while you're drunk and trying to tip a cow. The two kind of cancel each other out. Plus there's the weight ratio. A 2000 pound beast to a 200 pound man. Studies show, however, that it is possible to tip a cow with the effort of two men.
So, let's see how we come up with this solution.
Cow Part Sizes (ft squared)
Cow body volume = (2.5)(2.5)(6) = 37.5
Cow head volume = (3.14)(.5)(.5)(1) = .785
Cow leg volume = (.5)(.5)(2.5) = .625
Tail volume = Negligable
Center of Mass
Part
Volume
XCenter
YCenter
ZCenter
X(V)
Y(V)
Z(V)
Body
37.5
1.25
3
3.75
46.875
112.5
140.625
Head
.785
1.25
6.5
5.5
.98125
5.1025
4.3175
Leg 1
.625
.25
.25
1.25
.15625
.15625
.78125
Leg 2
.625
2.25
.25
1.25
1.40625
.15625
.78125
Leg 3
.625
.25
2.25
1.25
.15625
1.40625
.78125
Leg 4
.625
2.25
2.25
1.25
1.40625
1.40625
.78125
Total
40.785
----
----
----
50.98125
120.7275
148.0675
XCenter = 50.98125 / 40.785 = 1.25
YCenter = 120.7275 / 40.785 = 2.96
ZCenter = 148.0675 / 40.785 = 3.63
Mass of average cow: 1400 lbs.
Pushing force of human:
Average height of person = 6'
Average height of arms = 5'
Average horizontal push force = 300 lbs.
Force of Friction = 1400(.45) = 630 lbs.
(The cow will not slide)
Back view of cow:
MA = 300(5) - 1400(1.25) = -250
(Counter-clockwise)
Results
After taken a counter clockwise moment about point A, it is shown that the cow creates more turning force than the human pushing force if the cow is balanced. When force is applied to the balanced cow, the normal force is 1400 lbs. moves to point A. The calculated moment comes out to -250 lbs. which is 250 foot pounds of force keeping the cow's feet on the ground. Accroding to my calculations...
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR AN AVERAGE SIZED MAN (nevermind my 100 pounds of fury) TO TIP A COW.
Even if they did have a few sips of liquid courage.
So you still want to tip a cow?
How many people would it take?
Try two.
Pushing force = 2 x 300 = 600 lbs
MA = 600(5) - 1400(1.25) = 1250
(Counter-clockwise)
So get two average sized men, or six of me together, bring 'em out to ol' B-town, and let's go tip some cows.