(no subject)
I don't really post on LJ. It's just not really my thing and I'd rather share my life with people by talking to them one on one or even through an IM instead of just talking at a wall and having them respond back at the wall.
I'm really down lately. I feel like anything that I've been shooting for was the pipe dream that I'd, in the back of my mind, always kind of thought it was. I'm being reminded again and again, lately, that aiming to high will only make the fall down that much harder on me. I feel rejected, second best, ignored, and overall just bad. I feel like I'm going to make some big mistakes sometime soon that will leave me living a life I don't really want to live. I know what life I want, in a few regards, but none of it seems attainable at this juncture.
I want to vent, to let everything out, but I don't feel like I have anyone to really vent to at this juncture. I feel like I'm being melodramatic and stupid and I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion or taking things the wrong way, but I can't help that logic and my point of view skew certain things to look how they do to me.
Blah.
I'm really down lately. I feel like anything that I've been shooting for was the pipe dream that I'd, in the back of my mind, always kind of thought it was. I'm being reminded again and again, lately, that aiming to high will only make the fall down that much harder on me. I feel rejected, second best, ignored, and overall just bad. I feel like I'm going to make some big mistakes sometime soon that will leave me living a life I don't really want to live. I know what life I want, in a few regards, but none of it seems attainable at this juncture.
I want to vent, to let everything out, but I don't feel like I have anyone to really vent to at this juncture. I feel like I'm being melodramatic and stupid and I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion or taking things the wrong way, but I can't help that logic and my point of view skew certain things to look how they do to me.
Blah.