long time.

[_pleasure]

it seems like it's been a long time since i've done anything important. a long time caring really. i've been escaping every major decision possible. esspecially caring. if you care, it's like a sudden wave of emotions. or atleast with me it is. there's no point. i just want to go out and have fun with my friends. but that's another thing, if you get too close, then you get hurt and all of the emotions flood back. the only way to care now, is to turn around and face the past. stare into the eyes of all my past pain. look back on the girl that wondered about the future, who cared about her goals and her grades, her parents, her family, her friends, her boyfriend. But it seems once you've been hurt enough.. you go numb. and stop caring it's not important anymore, almost nothing is.

i feel stupid for complaining so much, but maybe if i start complaining again, and start trying to feel again, then i will. and i'll stop being this bitchy girl that doesn't care. and doesn't want to leave. and doesn't care about her grades. and start to care again.

the end of my sob story.