I've just had some startling news.
I have just been informed by beverlycrusher that I may be a father. This isn't the sort of thing one likes to be told out of the blue. Especially if it might be true. It looks like I'll have to go to sickbay to submit to some...testing. It may be a ploy to get me down there. She knows how I hate physicals. She didn't even tell me who this mythical child is. My day is going to be more interesting than I thought.