Worthwhile Days
A couple weeks ago, I had a breakdown while I was with Dom before he went to work. I felt terrible, but the stress of finding a second job, wedding planning and the drama going on between Dom and I and his sister was weighing heavily in my heart.. to the point I couldn't hold it in anymore. Anyways, Dom wasn't able to really handle my breakdown. It was understandable, though. He was about to go into work and he needed to focus. I get the same way... It's hard for me to have to deal with anything right before work, too, that's why I usually stay in bed as long as I possibly can.
It was just rough, too, because I just felt so alone. This is Dom's on-call night shift month, so I've only been able to see him for the 1 and 1/2-2 hours right before he has to leave to go to work. He also works three of the four weekends per month (which includes one weekend for the military). So yeah, this month I've really had a lot of alone time. I've been able to keep myself busy, but it's just hard when I've had to bottle things up so much to keep him from feeling that feeling you get when someone lays down so much bad news but you can't do anything about it. It puts knots in your stomach, makes you angry and sad at the same time. I didn't want to put that on him because he didn't need it, but I couldn't hold it in one day... so I told him.
I had been holding in so much and feeling so alone. Whenever I hung out with friends, I was such a negative Nancy, no matter how hard I tried to be happy. I couldn't act it because I wasn't happy.
But time and time again, He always shows me there's sunshine after the rain. We were able to spend three (of his five days off this month) together in the matter of four days. It was exactly the breath of fresh air I needed. I also learned exactly how much I needed him in my life. We stayed up late babysitting Joshua, Dom's newest nephew. We went to the St. Anne Sausage Fest, our third time going. We ate amazing food and played Bingo. We stayed up late going over venues. We talked our brains out regarding wedding stuff. On Sunday, he went with me, Denise, Jay-R and Jason to the Bridal Show at the Palace. When I told some of my other friends about it, they were surprised he went since it's usually a girl thing. He not only went, but he was excited to go to it in hopes of winning free stuff. I appreciated every single thing he did for me the past weekend. He kept it together, he heard me out, he gave me his input. We made decisions as to what was important to us and what wasn't. It was perfect. Exactly what I needed.
I came out of that weekend feeling so refreshed, happy and positive about our future wedding and more importantly about our future marriage together. As stressful as wedding planning can be, I'm just trying remember every day that this is exciting because one day I'll be married to the best man that God could have ever created for me and I am truly so blessed every single day. This past weekend made me extremely excited to be getting married to him, not because of the wedding planning, but because of how he makes me feel when I'm with him and when he does have time to take care of me. He's just a river flowing of love and friendship and goodness.
I am so blessed.
379 more days.
It was just rough, too, because I just felt so alone. This is Dom's on-call night shift month, so I've only been able to see him for the 1 and 1/2-2 hours right before he has to leave to go to work. He also works three of the four weekends per month (which includes one weekend for the military). So yeah, this month I've really had a lot of alone time. I've been able to keep myself busy, but it's just hard when I've had to bottle things up so much to keep him from feeling that feeling you get when someone lays down so much bad news but you can't do anything about it. It puts knots in your stomach, makes you angry and sad at the same time. I didn't want to put that on him because he didn't need it, but I couldn't hold it in one day... so I told him.
I had been holding in so much and feeling so alone. Whenever I hung out with friends, I was such a negative Nancy, no matter how hard I tried to be happy. I couldn't act it because I wasn't happy.
But time and time again, He always shows me there's sunshine after the rain. We were able to spend three (of his five days off this month) together in the matter of four days. It was exactly the breath of fresh air I needed. I also learned exactly how much I needed him in my life. We stayed up late babysitting Joshua, Dom's newest nephew. We went to the St. Anne Sausage Fest, our third time going. We ate amazing food and played Bingo. We stayed up late going over venues. We talked our brains out regarding wedding stuff. On Sunday, he went with me, Denise, Jay-R and Jason to the Bridal Show at the Palace. When I told some of my other friends about it, they were surprised he went since it's usually a girl thing. He not only went, but he was excited to go to it in hopes of winning free stuff. I appreciated every single thing he did for me the past weekend. He kept it together, he heard me out, he gave me his input. We made decisions as to what was important to us and what wasn't. It was perfect. Exactly what I needed.
I came out of that weekend feeling so refreshed, happy and positive about our future wedding and more importantly about our future marriage together. As stressful as wedding planning can be, I'm just trying remember every day that this is exciting because one day I'll be married to the best man that God could have ever created for me and I am truly so blessed every single day. This past weekend made me extremely excited to be getting married to him, not because of the wedding planning, but because of how he makes me feel when I'm with him and when he does have time to take care of me. He's just a river flowing of love and friendship and goodness.
I am so blessed.
379 more days.