The life of a masochist.
Well, there it is. Sex with an ex? Everything I've looked at points to no. When I go to therapy tomorrow, she'll probably tell me not to, either. I just can't help it.
The way I see it... I want to be whatever he wants or needs at whatever particular point in life and I'd rather be the one who he gets it from. If that's the only way I can have him for now, then maybe that's it. If he just needs something fun, light, easy... no stress or drama then I want to be that for him. As I've said, he's the only one I want to be with. The only one I'd screw around with. I'd rather get pleased by him because I trust him than go to anyone else. And it'll be another day I have him, even if it's just physically. I just want to show him that I can make him happy, however he wants it.
Yep, definitely a masochist.
But on the other hand, I am trying to change. I would never want to have sex if it was meaningless to him knowing that it'd be making love for me. If I gave that to him than he'd never have a reason to want to try to work this out. Not saying that he does now or anything, but I wouldn't want to blow my chances because of meaningless sex if one day I can get meaningful love making.
And on the third hand... I'm just so horny. Oyyyyyyy, bad combination.
Torn.
The way I see it... I want to be whatever he wants or needs at whatever particular point in life and I'd rather be the one who he gets it from. If that's the only way I can have him for now, then maybe that's it. If he just needs something fun, light, easy... no stress or drama then I want to be that for him. As I've said, he's the only one I want to be with. The only one I'd screw around with. I'd rather get pleased by him because I trust him than go to anyone else. And it'll be another day I have him, even if it's just physically. I just want to show him that I can make him happy, however he wants it.
Yep, definitely a masochist.
But on the other hand, I am trying to change. I would never want to have sex if it was meaningless to him knowing that it'd be making love for me. If I gave that to him than he'd never have a reason to want to try to work this out. Not saying that he does now or anything, but I wouldn't want to blow my chances because of meaningless sex if one day I can get meaningful love making.
And on the third hand... I'm just so horny. Oyyyyyyy, bad combination.
Torn.