iM DOWN TO MY LAST CRY
so im sitting here crying, i havent gotten a chance to cry about anything since me and marlone broke up. everything in my life is going wrong. first, me and marlone break up. then my grandmother has to be rushed to the hospital, my grandmother, the only person that ever gave me hope about anything... the closest person i have to me right now. i dont know what id do without her =/ she was in surgery today and shes in recovery. im writting this and im soo deprssed and emotionally drained. like im not just crying, im sobbing that i cant even see the computer screen. listening to this song.. one last cry,, by brian mcknight... "now im sitting here all alone, wishing all my feelings was gone". "i gotta put you out of my mind this time" "i know i gotta be strong" those words are killing me. i dont to lose my grandmother, ive already lost one person i care a lot about recently i dont want to lose her. im talking to marlone online right now, hes the only person i can talk to about anything right now. like maybe weve been through rough times but like the only person ive felt like venting to was him. its just alll sinking in right now, the break up, my grandmother... like im just soo sad. i wish i could show marlone that ive changed and that im a better person, a better girlfriend now, i miss him. but i know i have to get over him, bc theres nothing left for me to do now. "i got to put him out of my mind this time..." just like the song says. its just a hard concept to grasp. and then i have my mom on top of me, bitching at stupid things bc shes scared too. she makes it seem like shes the only one going through this.. and shes not. i feel like i have to be strong for her.. bc or not shell collapse. ok i dont know what else to write.. im just depressing myself now...