brace yourself..im bent with bitterness..
So I think i have actually come to a few realizations in this past week that i really needed to come to.
Im not the happiest person in the world right now..but im ok with that..im a little sad at the fact that things i thought would last forever didnt work out as well as i had hoped for..
but i guess maybe it was just for the best that everything happened like it did....and maybe if things were suppose to be as "fairy tale" as i wanted, things will work out in the long run...
but im not going to keep dwelling on everything bad i can think of anymore..
I realize I was a lucky gal...and i did have a guy who gave his all for me and tried his best to give me what i wanted,
i wish i could say that he was the lucky one...but im not to sure about that...
but anyway....i cant sit around and wish for so many changes to occur and for things just to be back the way i want them to be...
I have lots of other things to be happy for in life right now...
actually being able to graduate in may with my class at montwood!! finally getting my permit!!! :)
I think i just REALLY need to grow up, and really focus on Natalie for a while..and get my mind straight, and just focus on school for a bit...
and even after 2 years with Oscar, I know its going to be super hard to get over him...and hes WAY to important to just dissapear from my life, just like that..
I want him as a "friend", and want to be able to see him without getting all sad and talk to him, just normally...
and even if that means me and Oscar-not being a couple...i want that...i still want him in my life
i am ready to be his friend....
i just hope he wants that too
I know i kinda lagged it ALOT on this entry..but it really did help me get out alot of things ive had on my mind...