bits and pieces
| failure |
today was my final exam for AP. i think i totally bombed it. i guess i was over-anticipating the class to be over that i just kinda overlooked studying. i know, thats pretty retarded, but oh well. lets just say i wont be missing that class one bit.
| two years and counting |
so i picked up jon and we were running errands for my mom and while we were driving around we got to topics involving the future and stuff related to that subject and well, i cant help but realize that in every aspect of our future we've included each other in everything. ok now i know thats a good thing and i know many girls would kill to have a guy actually willing to commit and so on, but now that i think about, i'm really awestruck by it. its like whoa, is this really the real thing? i mean, i dont wanna jump the gun. i'm still young and have all the time in the world, i know. but do i really want to let this go? i dont think so. i think some things come into your life that intend to be permanent, you know? so here i am assessing jon and i's relationship. comparing it to what i've had with my ex-boyfriends is almost unfair. this is the longest time i've been in a relationship. almost 2 yrs. wow. people say we act like we're married. hmm. i wonder what that would be like... to actually be married to someone. freaky stuff. i know its still a long ways from now, but its right around the corner. shenna's wedding was kind of a wake-up call. not to get married, but to hold on to what you've got coz its not the time to be messing around anymore. i often wonder what happens to the women who are still single in their mid 30s. what happens if they dont find their significant other? are they doomed to becoming old maids with five bajillion cats running around their house?? the thought of that happening to me makes me wanna jump into a car, head on to las vegas and pull a britney spears with jon. lol. ;D i crack myself up sometimes.
| love |
so it seems as if everyone is growing up and falling in love. there's caryl and greg (hehe, what do you know...). and then my cousin and his girlfriend who is still a mystery. *shaking head*. :D just kidding keegan.... i wonder how many times you have to get hurt to finally understand the true meaning of being in love. its a strange concept coz philosophers say its a human invention to be "in love," but if you yourself are "feeling" it, its the real thing. people use the words "i love you" sometimes i believe without knowing what they're saying. especially teenagers in jr high or high school. so tell me people, how do you really know? when do you realize that its not just "puppy love" anymore? i've seen so many people who've (hopefully) temporarily changed themselves because of the people they say love. now wouldnt you say thats ridiculous?? how could that person love you when the "you" you're portraying isn't the real thing? [a must listen: Dashboard Confessional: A Mark, a Mission, a Brand, a Scar: Track 2].... wow, i really have been blabbing on for a while. i should stop. sorry for those who are actually reading this. this entry doesnt flow i know. bits and pieces.
today was my final exam for AP. i think i totally bombed it. i guess i was over-anticipating the class to be over that i just kinda overlooked studying. i know, thats pretty retarded, but oh well. lets just say i wont be missing that class one bit.
| two years and counting |
so i picked up jon and we were running errands for my mom and while we were driving around we got to topics involving the future and stuff related to that subject and well, i cant help but realize that in every aspect of our future we've included each other in everything. ok now i know thats a good thing and i know many girls would kill to have a guy actually willing to commit and so on, but now that i think about, i'm really awestruck by it. its like whoa, is this really the real thing? i mean, i dont wanna jump the gun. i'm still young and have all the time in the world, i know. but do i really want to let this go? i dont think so. i think some things come into your life that intend to be permanent, you know? so here i am assessing jon and i's relationship. comparing it to what i've had with my ex-boyfriends is almost unfair. this is the longest time i've been in a relationship. almost 2 yrs. wow. people say we act like we're married. hmm. i wonder what that would be like... to actually be married to someone. freaky stuff. i know its still a long ways from now, but its right around the corner. shenna's wedding was kind of a wake-up call. not to get married, but to hold on to what you've got coz its not the time to be messing around anymore. i often wonder what happens to the women who are still single in their mid 30s. what happens if they dont find their significant other? are they doomed to becoming old maids with five bajillion cats running around their house?? the thought of that happening to me makes me wanna jump into a car, head on to las vegas and pull a britney spears with jon. lol. ;D i crack myself up sometimes.
| love |
so it seems as if everyone is growing up and falling in love. there's caryl and greg (hehe, what do you know...). and then my cousin and his girlfriend who is still a mystery. *shaking head*. :D just kidding keegan.... i wonder how many times you have to get hurt to finally understand the true meaning of being in love. its a strange concept coz philosophers say its a human invention to be "in love," but if you yourself are "feeling" it, its the real thing. people use the words "i love you" sometimes i believe without knowing what they're saying. especially teenagers in jr high or high school. so tell me people, how do you really know? when do you realize that its not just "puppy love" anymore? i've seen so many people who've (hopefully) temporarily changed themselves because of the people they say love. now wouldnt you say thats ridiculous?? how could that person love you when the "you" you're portraying isn't the real thing? [a must listen: Dashboard Confessional: A Mark, a Mission, a Brand, a Scar: Track 2].... wow, i really have been blabbing on for a while. i should stop. sorry for those who are actually reading this. this entry doesnt flow i know. bits and pieces.