Work...
...was fucking amazin today. There were virtually *no* tables whatsoever (went for a whole hour between 5 and 6 without a single customer in the restaurant), so we got to just doss about. And eat, cos there was nothing better to do. I ate so much I felt sick. I ate so much I forgot about my hayfever. I discovered red pepper pesto goes particularly well with cheesy garlic bread. Plus I had a baileys coffee on the sly ("it's just a latte, really...") with two shots of baileys. Fun fun fun.
Also, I came *this* close to coming out to two more of my workmates, Catherine and Patrice. They were talking about their gay friends, and how all of Catherine's lesbian friends *hate* being called lesbians (apparently, some find the word vulgar) and prefer to be called fags (?!). I really wanted to join in with my own thoughts, but it was kind of awkward to link it to my situation, since I'm not a lesbian, without making it sound like a big deal. Okay, that made sense in my head...but seriously, the whole coming out thing is doing my head in. It's such a continuous process, and it never gets any easier cos you're never sure what people's reactions will be. And not being out cuts off so many conversation possibilities, like you can't give your full unbridled opinion of certain issues, or you have to say you were out with your "friend" and not your girlfriend etc etc. But it's fucking tough to come out. I would never *ever* come out with the whole "okay, listen, there's something I have to tell you" thing, except maybe with my parents, because it's like it's a big deal or some big guilty thing that's weighing me down or something. But, similarly, I can't really do it the simple, matter-of-fact way in a general conversation, because there's nothing I hate more than telling someone I'm bisexual, then not being able to discuss it. I would *not* want to say "I'm bisexual" and leave it at that, because the actual label says not an awful lot about my sexuality - it's much more complex than "I like girls and boys". Firstly, bisexuality in itself is very complex, and there are a helluva lot of misconceptions about it, so I like to be able to challenge or correct some of those misconceptions. Secondly, as I said, the word bisexual is nowhere near enough to describe me or my sexual/romantic preferences. It just says that you date men and women, whereas in actual fact my sexuality's wider than that, and I would be perfectly happy dating, for instance, a transgendered person, if they were hot enough. Bi is binary, y'know? And I would use the term "omnisexual" or something like that, but it's not very well recognised - and if bisexuality is complex, confusing to many and requires a bit of explanation, you can bet your ass that "omnisexual" is going to be a million times more so.
In other news, I have resolved to use the phrase "suck my left one" more often, but have yet to find a situation I feel I can use it in...