i hate my mind
i can't help how i'm feeling right now. there is this huge overwhelming feeling of hopelesness and lonlieness. it's like i'm programmed to always look at the negatives of every situation, and focus on those instead of the positives. i can't ever just be happy with myself, or with the way my life is going. i've been holding this in for a couple of weeks/months now, but i can't do it anymore. i can't even function. the weight on my back is so huge, but i don't even know why i feel like this, that's what pisses me off the most. i hate feeling like this, i really can't deal with it anymore. things don't have to be perfect, i just want to feel better. i'm sick of thinking how much i hate myself, and telling myself all these things..all these negative things. i have sat at home for the past week, and done nothing but go to work, i sleep all the time, and i just feel like shit constantly. i'm tired of putting up this facade that everything is ok. i know that you guys have known i've been depressed, but this has gone much farther. i just need to graduate and get out of my house and get out of lynchburg. i will miss everyone here so much, i mean, all of my friends are pretty much all i have going for me.. but i just need to get out of town for a while and try to figure myself out