I blame the Lunar Eclipse

[geekissexy23]

First I want to thank everyone and their awesome advice from my first post located here.

Things were OK for a little while, He spent most of his nights at school and I spent most of my days at work. We saw eachother at night, and I thought things were going OK for the most part, still some bickering, but we talked about a lot of things and I

Comments

[836am]

he wants to sleep with me and shower with me and do all the things we did before (NOT going to happen) and since he's not he feels hurt.

Do you mean because of your feelings towards him or because of some other reason(s)?

[geekissexy23]

because of our fights & my libido is really low and I don't want to sleep with him. He decided to start sleeping on the couch even before that- so to me it's like he lost those privelages when he wanted to sleep on the couch before me.

[fireyirishangel]

"Lost those privileges"? He's your husband, not a child. It sounds petty that you're not letting him sleep in bed with you.

[geekissexy23]

after 3 weeks of him NOT wanting to sleep with me yeah, I'd say he lost them. It makes me feel like he only wants to sleep with me if he's screwing me other wise the couch is fine, and it makes me feel like trash ya know?

[whitneythegreat]

after 3 weeks of him NOT wanting to sleep with me yeah, I'd say he lost them.

So, he changed his mind, and you're punishing him for that? That's what it's sounding like.

It really sounds like he's now - FINALLY - trying to make some headway but you're still too angry to really let him. Having him move out might give you some time to calm down and really think about things without feeling the pressure of living with him.

[geekissexy23]

Makes sense- part of me thinks the move is a BAD idea, but then part of me thinks that it might be for the best atleast for a little while.

I'm jsut afraid that when we are apart that it would be easier to give up- since we aren't in the same vicinity. As opposed to when we are living in the same place if something bothers us we are obligated to voice it.

[dream_king]

At least is Canada, no sex has always been a legitimate reason for divorce.

[foreverbeingnow]

i think it is in the us also.
maybe its a state thing.

[absolved]

If my husband wasn't having sex with me, I wouldn't be sleeping next to him either. I'd be sleeping in an entirely different house. With the exception of an *incurable* medical condition, my marriage includes sex. Otherwise I would've been just friends with him. A deal breaking issue.

[unsafeword]

You're not mature enough to be married.

[geekissexy23]

A lot of it is that I resent him, (its in my other post) He gets to wake up whenever he wants to go to bed whenever he wants to, his only obligation is school. I clean, cook, pay the bills, work full time to pay the bills, I play the wife 100%, and He knows that theres a lot of things that I resnt about him and the marriage but his attitude is "well those are your problems not mine, you neeed to deal with them not me" He lost 4k when he was in charge of the finances, and forgot to pay numerous bills until i took control. There are a lot of other things but its hard to make a list of everything.

[geekissexy23]

Thanks Will do =)

[arwinday]

Actually, I just reread your other post, and the word resentment isn't mentioned. Though, reading this comment, I can see why you feel as you do -- what I don't understand is what you want from this relationship - the only thing I've seen you say you want is children with him (from a comment in your last post) - and it strikes me that this is something that could make the currently very bad situation MUCH worse. Additionally, if you stay in this marriage for years, trying to make it work, only to discover you can't - then you'll have lost valuable fertility years and a relationship with someone you're genuinely compatible with.

You say you want to work on the marriage, and you're worried that him living with his mom will make it too easy to end the relationship, but I haven't read anything in either of your posts that gives me any indication that you really want to stay in this marriage, or why you should want to stay. To recap:

You resent your husband;

you're jealous that he gets to sleep in, stay out late and hang out with

[geekissexy23]

Hmm, that is very interesting- Thank you for putting it like that i REALLY appreciate it.

Gives me more to think about =)