doesn't mean a thing to me, things aren't what they used to be.
so. life. really, you've got me stuck here. i don't want to move. but i have to. it's time to move on. on the other hand, i'm so ready for a change. i've been complacent. and lazy. and i want to change. i need some new excitement. i'm turning a page. i definitely need structure. a schedule. some kind of actual work for a while. time to grow up and i've just been waiting around for it to happen. i feel like its happening. i mean. i'm beginning to accept what's real, not what i dream up in my head. reality. i need to listen to myself. i need to take initiative. and be open. and drink less coffee. and stop thinking so much.
but nights like tonight i just have to deprive myself of sleep so i can clear my head. does that sound assbackwards or what? i'm kinda flipped like that. it's 5 am. i haven't accomplished anything i needed to. i need to finish christmas/clean my dads house/organize laundry/sleep. i want to start running. i try. borderline asthma/exercise induced needs to calm down. i would enjoy it if i could breathe.
nothings certain right now. i'm wondering what i'll be doing a year from now. or two. or three. or five. and how many grandbabies there will be. not mine. but other ones.
jessy had her baybeee! logan is the love of my freaking life. i'm so happy for them. this is how i know we're all growing up. thinking back? what the hell. we have children. we're old. this is real life right now. ?
can't sleep. need to craft.
really miss meghan.
want it to snow. not happening.
realized i'm in love with drake.
merry christmas?
but nights like tonight i just have to deprive myself of sleep so i can clear my head. does that sound assbackwards or what? i'm kinda flipped like that. it's 5 am. i haven't accomplished anything i needed to. i need to finish christmas/clean my dads house/organize laundry/sleep. i want to start running. i try. borderline asthma/exercise induced needs to calm down. i would enjoy it if i could breathe.
nothings certain right now. i'm wondering what i'll be doing a year from now. or two. or three. or five. and how many grandbabies there will be. not mine. but other ones.
jessy had her baybeee! logan is the love of my freaking life. i'm so happy for them. this is how i know we're all growing up. thinking back? what the hell. we have children. we're old. this is real life right now. ?
can't sleep. need to craft.
really miss meghan.
want it to snow. not happening.
realized i'm in love with drake.
merry christmas?