paint your nails and put on your lipstick you don't wanna miss your ticket out.
if you seriously had to call me up and ask me about my last entry you are pathetic. you have now made it obvious to me that you take the time out of your life to read my livejournal, when you can't even take the time to call me. think what you want. believe what you want. i do not have to answer to you. you who didn't want me. you who i was never good enough for. you who i will never be good enough for. you didn't want me...or maybe you did but you wouldn't give in because you're so fucking stubborn. maybe. and maybe i just don't give a shit anymore. i want you to care. i want you to want me. but i don't deserve this shit. and last i checked, we were never together, so why should you care who i see?
i wanted to write an entry about my life...not my life but like...what i'm feeling right now and all that's going on in my head. i'm not very good at any of this shit.
but maybe with pictures and lyrics...
.
my life be like ooh aah.
sketchy sketch sketch. sketchy sketch sketch. sketch sketch. sketch sketch.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart.
why are you telling me?!
so this is the new year. and i don't feel any different.
you can stand under my umbrella.
i'm sorry about the phone call
and needing you.
some decisions you just don't make.
i guess it's just like breathing but not wanting to
there are some things you can't fake.
and all i really want.
is some patience.
a way to calm the angry voice.
and all i really want is deliverance.
do i wear you out?
oh she's losing faith in what she knows.
hates her music, hates all of her clothes.
thinks of surgery and a new nose.
every calorie is a war.
she wishes she was a dancer
and that she never heard of cancer
she wishes god would give her some answers
and make her feel beautiful.
swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, oh we're still so young, desperate for attention.
maryann and wanda were the best of friends all through their highschool days...=)
and sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live...when you were young.
yea, you've got a friend in me.
you believed in me when i couldn't even believe in myself.
i have got friends who love me, blue skys all around me.
we've been on the run, driving in the sun.
"you know how it's like when you don't want to miss them but you want them to miss you."
be here when i come back.
you're still in bed at 10 and work began at 8.
your job's a joke.
your broke.
your love life's DOA.
it's hard to remember a time without you.
i'm jaded, i hate it.
i think i'd miss you even if we never met.
all i can say is i'm sorry, i'm so sorry.
it's like hearing the last song and knowing that it's going to end soon. and you're thinking: please don't end, i need this. well that's how i felt that day. i didn't want it to end. i knew the next day it would be over...and i needed you more than anything.
how long do you wanna be loved? is forever enough, cause i'm never giving you up.
everything looks perfect from far away....
but do you believe in something beautiful? then get up and be it.
"don't let yourself get so angry that you stop loving.
because one day you will wake up from that anger and the person you love, won't love you back."
hollywood girl, tell me why your so sad? you've got diamonds and are on every magizine cover. and she'll sit there and look towards me and will say with tears ruining her perfecelty put on make-up "i feel all alone even when i'm in a crowded room."
I'm not good at meeting new people. they
always want something, cigarettes, gas
money, lighters, drugs. I have nothing to
offer these people. not a smile, not a wink.
I've got pills but they're mine. I've got thoughts
and dreams but no one wants to listen and
I haven't got a journal worth reading. not even
a page worth saving. I have nothing on my
vest. no badge of honor to display. no trophies.
no family trips to brag about. no selfish habits
to feed upon. I'm not dependent on chemicals
or pleasures. I'm not using anyone for anything.
I'm not going to pay you to be my fucking friend.
it's a missing emotion, a missing
person. hey love, i'm missing you.
it's more than 11:11, it's more than
a hug goodbye, hey love, the sky's
still blue. things are great but where
are you?
The last time i lay beneath him,
he turned my arm toward the light
so that the scars glowed.
He asked me,
"How do you stand to show those to the world?
How do you reach out to strangers and shake hands?"
There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart.
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't, because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid. So, if you could write a song and sing it, then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself. But all of us can't be songwriters, so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know we're thinking, so we'll never be able to get the chance to make things right again.
i needed someone to at least comprehend a bit of what i'm feeling and thinking...clearly this did not help.
i wanted to write an entry about my life...not my life but like...what i'm feeling right now and all that's going on in my head. i'm not very good at any of this shit.
but maybe with pictures and lyrics...
.
my life be like ooh aah.
sketchy sketch sketch. sketchy sketch sketch. sketch sketch. sketch sketch.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart.
why are you telling me?!
so this is the new year. and i don't feel any different.
you can stand under my umbrella.
i'm sorry about the phone call
and needing you.
some decisions you just don't make.
i guess it's just like breathing but not wanting to
there are some things you can't fake.
and all i really want.
is some patience.
a way to calm the angry voice.
and all i really want is deliverance.
do i wear you out?
oh she's losing faith in what she knows.
hates her music, hates all of her clothes.
thinks of surgery and a new nose.
every calorie is a war.
she wishes she was a dancer
and that she never heard of cancer
she wishes god would give her some answers
and make her feel beautiful.
swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, oh we're still so young, desperate for attention.
maryann and wanda were the best of friends all through their highschool days...=)
and sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live...when you were young.
yea, you've got a friend in me.
you believed in me when i couldn't even believe in myself.
i have got friends who love me, blue skys all around me.
we've been on the run, driving in the sun.
"you know how it's like when you don't want to miss them but you want them to miss you."
be here when i come back.
you're still in bed at 10 and work began at 8.
your job's a joke.
your broke.
your love life's DOA.
it's hard to remember a time without you.
i'm jaded, i hate it.
i think i'd miss you even if we never met.
all i can say is i'm sorry, i'm so sorry.
it's like hearing the last song and knowing that it's going to end soon. and you're thinking: please don't end, i need this. well that's how i felt that day. i didn't want it to end. i knew the next day it would be over...and i needed you more than anything.
how long do you wanna be loved? is forever enough, cause i'm never giving you up.
everything looks perfect from far away....
but do you believe in something beautiful? then get up and be it.
"don't let yourself get so angry that you stop loving.
because one day you will wake up from that anger and the person you love, won't love you back."
hollywood girl, tell me why your so sad? you've got diamonds and are on every magizine cover. and she'll sit there and look towards me and will say with tears ruining her perfecelty put on make-up "i feel all alone even when i'm in a crowded room."
I'm not good at meeting new people. they
always want something, cigarettes, gas
money, lighters, drugs. I have nothing to
offer these people. not a smile, not a wink.
I've got pills but they're mine. I've got thoughts
and dreams but no one wants to listen and
I haven't got a journal worth reading. not even
a page worth saving. I have nothing on my
vest. no badge of honor to display. no trophies.
no family trips to brag about. no selfish habits
to feed upon. I'm not dependent on chemicals
or pleasures. I'm not using anyone for anything.
I'm not going to pay you to be my fucking friend.
it's a missing emotion, a missing
person. hey love, i'm missing you.
it's more than 11:11, it's more than
a hug goodbye, hey love, the sky's
still blue. things are great but where
are you?
The last time i lay beneath him,
he turned my arm toward the light
so that the scars glowed.
He asked me,
"How do you stand to show those to the world?
How do you reach out to strangers and shake hands?"
There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart.
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't, because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid. So, if you could write a song and sing it, then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself. But all of us can't be songwriters, so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know we're thinking, so we'll never be able to get the chance to make things right again.
i needed someone to at least comprehend a bit of what i'm feeling and thinking...clearly this did not help.