(no subject)
you know in the labyrinth where hoggle gives sara the peach and she forgets everything and gets all distracted? well i feel just like her. distracted. in a good way though. even though it could all turn bad so quickly but we forget this becasue wer wrapped up in the moment of now, becasue the feeling we have now is great. amazing. so we forget the way it was so bad before. life was so lonely. so stressfull. the bad aprt about all this is I am still not the one making myself happy. i never will. i dont have the will power. I dont care enough about myself to realize its all fake and I know i was looking for something.... I dont have saras will power. I thought i had a rude awakening, but that faded so fast. you made me forget everything. things have been so easy. i NEED to be kicked in the face. repeatedly. over n over and over. or just stop being so fucking lazy and taking the easy was out. and how can I feel love foor someone when i dont for myself? i mean i like the person I am but i am so close to being desolately poor and having no where to live and I have to not let myself get comfortable here. I just hate my own stupid numbness. I have to remember what its like to feel the like world is over or else it may really end and i will truly have nothing left.