Seall.
I'm an addict, to caffine, ciggaretes, and speeding. But I love christian music, and for some reason it makes me enjoy the world. Red bull is probably going to kill me, I have a built up tolerance against it, I should have quit smoking before I even started, but i'm going to, but I just don't have the motivation, and besides, "underground smoker" no one knows, so I don't have back up. I really need to slow down when I drive, but for some reason I choose not to, and I know that after last novemebers accident, I really should be more careful, but I am as reckless as ever. My car is a mess and I need to clean up everything in my life, I wish I had OCD about everything and not just somethings. I feel connected with God, however stupid you think that, that sounds, I am glad that this year I have decided to go back to church, I think on the inside it saved me, and I believe that. I believe that even if you do wrong you will still be accepted by God and the church and after my sins I will be forgivin. I don't know why I am up talking about God, or why I have chosen to write so much lately. I think its because everything I EVER wrote got deleted when my stupid computer had a virus, that was like 8 years worth of writing down the drain, and for some reason I can't even write a good poem anymore. Succk. It's weird that I can rap eminem and NWA, when really that is the complete opposite of what I am, I wish I was not as reserved or sheltered as I am and I wish I realized life for all it is worth.
I think I am going to take up running and biking again, I need to get in shape. I think I am going to start knitting again, I usually only do in the winter, but it calms me down and lately I have had an anger/bad mood for way to long. I wish that I would get more finacial aid for college, and I hate that everyone thinks that since I live in a big house and have another house that my family is finacially okay, because we are not. Our lake house is on the market, but until we sell that we have a tight spending and I realized it is because of me going to college, they want me to succeed where they didn't. I need to get a second job as well to help my parents out because as of now, limited too is not helping me get anywhere.
After this entry, I think I am going to stop using the word I, even though I will probably forget because lately I have been having a really bad memory, I have a thought then I forget it as I am trying to tell it. When you think about not saying a word, you eventually start saying it more than you want to. I need to get a life.
I think I am going to take up running and biking again, I need to get in shape. I think I am going to start knitting again, I usually only do in the winter, but it calms me down and lately I have had an anger/bad mood for way to long. I wish that I would get more finacial aid for college, and I hate that everyone thinks that since I live in a big house and have another house that my family is finacially okay, because we are not. Our lake house is on the market, but until we sell that we have a tight spending and I realized it is because of me going to college, they want me to succeed where they didn't. I need to get a second job as well to help my parents out because as of now, limited too is not helping me get anywhere.
After this entry, I think I am going to stop using the word I, even though I will probably forget because lately I have been having a really bad memory, I have a thought then I forget it as I am trying to tell it. When you think about not saying a word, you eventually start saying it more than you want to. I need to get a life.