Numb...
Wouldn't it be great to have the ability of numbness, just being able to make yourself be numb of all feeling at any given point. Just think: no disappointment or grief, no pity or empathy, nothing. No more feeling used or thrown away. blah...damn... Sometimes feelings can just be too much to handle, on top of everything else in a person's life, but the fact that there present makes them relevant. Feelings never go away, they fade or wear thin, but never disappear completely. But why does that mean that they can't be communicated or even reciprocated or told, why is communication so hard? I think that communication is especially hard when it has to be done between a boy and a girl, hah. For some reason the 2 sexes can never seem to make connections that need to be made. Physically the connection is easy, but mentally on another, personal level of intensity that really brings two together, the two will never experience. I think it's because we think so differently. guys never worry about feelings as much as women, especially because in reality they just don't spend as much time thinking about all the woulda, coulda, shoulda's, like I do. The same way that many of my girlfriends do, the well...if he had done this, and if we'd seen each other more's. blahblahblah, fuck that...I just want the pathway cleared and some simple communication to start up. Because fuck me, I'd rather have someone be able tooommunicate their feelings in words to me, physically it's not hard to communicate. But on a deeperlevel, exposing yourself and your feelings...that is a hard thing. I guess I'm being silly, I could open up first, but damn it, I'm way too fucking scared in the end. Even after blabing in here for a while about sharing and communication, when it comes down to it, I'm a puss...
Today, we had an assembly during the first 3 periods, and some of us went to Cody's memorial. I really do miss him a whole lot, and it felt nice for all of us to go together... Cassie, Dustin, Mike B, and Sam and me...God, I still can't believe it
Today, we had an assembly during the first 3 periods, and some of us went to Cody's memorial. I really do miss him a whole lot, and it felt nice for all of us to go together... Cassie, Dustin, Mike B, and Sam and me...God, I still can't believe it