Oh Saturday....
I have to work as usual on Saturday, but I have a babysitter the whole night. I haven't gotten drunk drunk in a really long time. I feel a sudden need for it.
I'm just hurting so badly right now. I counted the days until Shayle's birthday. Six weeks and 1 day. I remember this time...last year. And although I was in so much emotional pain...I would give anything to be back in that place. Cherishing that time that I had with her. It went by so fast. The adoptive family was supposed to call me so that my family *my parents, Sophie, and I* could go and visit over the summer. Summer is over. I never got a phone call. I was so good last time I saw her. I didn't even cry. I've made every excuse possible, but nothing justifies not keeping that promise to me. I'm a complete wreck for at least the next 2 1/2 months.
God bless Nicole and her ears. She has been there for me so much lately.
So back to the plans on Saturday. My boyfriend hasn't made it a priority to spend any time with me the past 2 weeks. Sweetest day *yeah I totally know it's just a Hallmark holiday* I think is just a day out of the year to show your significant other how much you care about them. If you really think about it there aren't that many days to do that. Valentines Day, their birthday, and that's really it. I mean I think 3 times out of the year isn't that big of a deal. I show him all the time how much I care about him. And I don't get a damn bit of time in two fucking weeks. I think I should go out Saturday...without him. And then when he gets all pissy and sore about it...well gee what have you done the past 2 weeks. Oh wait you spent all last weekend with friends. Maybe that's immature, but I don't know how else to get the point across people.
Worst headache in the world by the way.