(no subject)
OMG, that's so freakishly accurate, ah, it's scary. Yea.
Anyway, today was one of those days when I know my family is fucked up. Like as a unit, we aren't one. I woke after having a terrifying dream where I woke up moaning and making distressing noises in my sleep. I was in the PAC, and my dad was chasing me or something, it was like wherever I tried to go he was there. I told my mom about the dream, and after an incident later in the day, my mom started to cry. The 2 of us were on our way to REC diving, and she was crying and talking to me about dad and how she felt so aweful whenever she is with him but she's so freaking scared of him. And the 2 of us went out to dinner and we spent the whole time talking about him.
It's really starting to feel serious, like they've been married quite a while, and it seems so surreal that all this is happening and I can't do anything about it. It's really frustrating and quite hard on me. Or maybe I'm just not seeing things clearly and putting too much of the blame on myself and that's why I'm having such a hard time with it. I dunno, I can't tell. But what I do know is that soon enough I'll be out of here and in college on the other side of the country.
The good news tho is that I get to learn to SCUBA dive so that I can dive on my cruise, horrah!