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is this withdrawl ?
i am looking at the books on my bookshelf thinking "did i ever even read these ? or are these just badges of my former self ?"
i don't like my face anymore. my glasses hurt my eyes and i hate the way they look anyways. i've taken to wandering around blindly again - whatever that means. i got better at taking care of myself (on the outside) while i was really good at forgetting the inside
it seems like the insides are getting there - but the outsides ...
well, things run in cycles.
we all know that.
someone has to be down if you are up and vice versa.
is this withdrawl ?
the fun and the laughter and the crazy and the "what am i going to do next ?" / "i don't know, but i know it's going to be really amazing and out there !" and the alcohol and the drugs and the constant connection
seem to have been replaced with:
ignoring my computer and letting my phone die and laying on a could for days at a time with a boy who seems to outlive all the time and crazy and alcohol i could ever come up with.
i declared nuclear war on my soul -
but he is a cockroach that burrowed deep inside of me. (somewhere)
....
some things just don't die.
no matter how hard you try to kill them.
i am looking at the books on my bookshelf thinking "did i ever even read these ? or are these just badges of my former self ?"
i don't like my face anymore. my glasses hurt my eyes and i hate the way they look anyways. i've taken to wandering around blindly again - whatever that means. i got better at taking care of myself (on the outside) while i was really good at forgetting the inside
it seems like the insides are getting there - but the outsides ...
well, things run in cycles.
we all know that.
someone has to be down if you are up and vice versa.
is this withdrawl ?
the fun and the laughter and the crazy and the "what am i going to do next ?" / "i don't know, but i know it's going to be really amazing and out there !" and the alcohol and the drugs and the constant connection
seem to have been replaced with:
ignoring my computer and letting my phone die and laying on a could for days at a time with a boy who seems to outlive all the time and crazy and alcohol i could ever come up with.
i declared nuclear war on my soul -
but he is a cockroach that burrowed deep inside of me. (somewhere)
....
some things just don't die.
no matter how hard you try to kill them.