Make a Resolution You Can Keep or Don't Waste Your Time...
Well, it is officially 2006...Happy New Year and all that...I hope everyone had a good time bringing it in...As for me, my friend Ellen and I had a couple bottles of cheap wine and brought it in watching our favorite cheesy movies (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Gus, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, etc...)...It was fun, and I was a little sad because of, well, y'know...technically speaking it would've been the anniversary of our first date two years ago...but I got through it w/o crying and all that and somehow managed to have a good time nonetheless...
Speaking of which, I guess I kind of owe an explination as to why the, apparently, sudden and abrupt end...(which I have to kind of point out, that it wasn't really, it was really only a matter of time, I guess)...But here's the relatively-quick-and-painless version: (two weeks ago) Saturday, Jack calls me up, we go grab some dinner, rent some movies, back at his place...in between films, he proposes to me with the line,"If we can make it through what we've already been through, we can make it through anything," and I can't bring myself to say, "yes," and we talk about it until the early morning hours...and he understands (or seems to)...we fall asleep and I leave the next day (sunday)...Monday, at work all day I ponder how to casually break-up with someone who is self-destructive and wants to marry me...Tuesday, Jack calls me up, we grab some lunch, he breaks it off for me...much to my relief and (I can't lie) saddness...*sigh*...I guess I don't know what I expected...and it's stopped hurting as much...and I want to say "It was good while it lasted" but that doesn't do it justice, because that would imply that it was always good...which it wasn't...sometimes it down right sucked...and it was draining, I can't deny that any more...it was a strain on me...and he knew it just as much as I did...so, I guess it really is better this way...but that doesn't make it any less difficult or painful...
But it's the new year, so it's time to make a fresh new start for myself, I guess...and my new year's resolution is just that...To keep my chin up no matter how many blows I take...to take every day one moment at a time...to just realize that I'm old enough to know better but still young enough to have a good time with it all...to realize that I have a promising future ahead of me, if I just don't give up...and to remember that my life is only boring and cookie-cutter if I make it that way...What do you think 2006? Can you handle that?...
"The future is unwritten..." -The Clash...so go out and claim it for yourself...